When a parent remarries, it can be a difficult time for their kid.

Not only are new families being formed that they have to navigate a new life within, they also have to adjust to the dynamics of a step-parent too.

It’s hard enough if the parents are divorced, let alone if – like the girl in this story – a beloved parent has passed away.

But with time, love, and patience, even the most awkward and difficult of starts can prove to be long-lasting, supportive, loving relationships in the long run.

Unfortunately for this girl though, time and patience were lacking from her stepmom, who seemingly expected her to adjust right away.

Read on to find out how, ten years after becoming a stepmom, her pushy behavior exploded in her face.

AITA for telling my dad’s wife that I won’t ever call her my mom and she needs to back off?

I (18, female) live with my dad and his wife.

My mom died when I was five.

She was sick for a while and I don’t really remember much about the end, but I do remember her when things were still normal.

She was really gentle.

She’d make up songs for stuff like brushing teeth and putting on socks.

My dad didn’t talk about her much after she died.

Let’s see how their family situation evolved.

He met his wife when I was seven, and they got married the next year.

She was always nice enough. Bought me stuff. Took me places.

But from the start she wanted to be “mom” and I never wanted that.

I didn’t hate her or anything, but I already had a mom and I didn’t want another one.

I told her that when I was ten, and she said I was breaking her heart.

I still remember the look on her face.

This friction didn’t end there.

Since then we’ve just coexisted.

She calls herself my mom in public and online.

She signs birthday cards with “mom.”

I’ve never corrected her to her face but I also never call her that.

It’s always been tense under the surface but we never really talked about it.

Read on to see how the girl reaching adulthood has changed things.

Now that I’m 18, she’s been trying to make a big push to “reconnect” before I move out.

She keeps bringing up the idea of a “fresh start” and how she wants to be in my life long-term — at my wedding someday, when I have kids, all of it.

I told her I don’t want to keep pretending.

That she’s not my mom and she never will be.

That I’ll always be polite but I’m not going to fake a relationship that doesn’t feel real.

Let’s see how this girl’s stepmom reacted to that.

She cried.

My dad didn’t say anything at first but later he told me I shouldn’t have said that and that she’s tried her best for years.

That I was cruel and I should fix it.

I don’t know. I don’t think I was cruel.

I was honest.

But maybe it didn’t need to be said out loud.

AITA?

This girl has had to deal with over a decade of this woman cosplaying her mom.

It’s no wonder she’s tired of the charade.

On top of that, her father wasn’t emotionally there for her during the trauma of losing her mom; she’s likely got a whole lot of untapped grief to deal with, and simply replacing her mom isn’t the way to do it.

Let’s see what Reddit had to say about this.

This person agreed that the stepmom had been too pushy.

While this Redditor saw both sides.

Meanwhile, this stepmom offered reasonable solutions from experience.

Perhaps the woman really does care about her step-daughter, and after caring for her like a daughter for ten years, it’s understandable that she thinks that she would be seen as a mother-figure.

But pushing the matter has only increased tension in their relationship.

If she’s remembered the whole time that the girl lost her own mother at a young age, and isn’t looking to replace her, their relationship would surely have built into one of mutual love and respect.

As it is, there’s just animosity and friction, alongside a complete lack of understanding.

The girl deserved more.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.