Miscommunication happens sometimes, and quite often when you’re stressed and can barely form a thought.

In this case, a woman was overwhelmed after her spouse went on a trip and left her to care for both of their kids while only getting “help” from her high-conflict parents.

So she wasn’t exactly happy when she came back, but didn’t mean to be harsh when she expressed needing some alone time before ‘hosting’.

Let’s read the story.

AITA for telling my spouse I needed 30 mins alone when they just got back from a trip?

My spouse (33, F) and I (35, F) have 2 kids (2 and 4).

My spouse was recently away for 4 days for work.

My parents were here while she was away, leaving about 8 hours before she was back.

Having them around is probably not helpful but is also draining as they are high conflict, and my dad in particular often makes demands/asks questions at inopportune times.

She was already tired from dealing with all of this without her spouse. But there was more.

The other context is that we have had guests staying for all but 5 days for the last month, and my father-in-law was flying back with my spouse to stay.

He is nice but doesn’t help (eg generally doesn’t clean up unless explicitly asked).

Anyway, at 7 pm, I started getting the kids ready for bed.

By 8:30, the eldest was still awake, pulling various delay tactics, and announced she was hungry.

At this point, I was annoyed as I still needed to clean up downstairs before my spouse and FIL arrived.

She hadn’t had a moment for herself in a while now.

My spouse text me at that exact moment to stay « Just landed. Kids sleeping? »

I responded « I have been trying to get Kid asleep for 90 mins but she’s still awake. I suck »

Clearly, I should have said « welcome back! » but I felt like I had failed at my one task and was overwhelmed at the possibility of more hosting without a break.

A misunderstanding happened soon after.

My spouse said « she’s probably just excited » to which I responded « I just wanted like 30 mins alone without hosting someone ».

At this point, my spouse interpreted this as me not wanting her to come back.

I apologised and explained that this was totally unrelated to her and I just wanted a break before hosting her dad.

But she insists on seeing it as me not wanting her home and is now basically not speaking to me except about administrative things.

I realise I should have said « welcome back » but also expected her to be more understanding of how draining two little kids are.

AITA?

This was a classic case of miscommunication.

Both talking and listening are key.

I’m curious to see what Reddit has to say about this situation.

A reader shares their point of view.

This commenter shares their opinion.

Someone thinks her spouse is wrong.

Another reader agrees.

Yup.

This person breaks it down.

It was pretty much a misunderstanding.

But there also seem to be underlying issues they need to discuss without jumping to conclusions.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.