Some things just can’t stay in the past…

That can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on what happened.

In this instance, I’d definitely say that it’s a REALLY BAD thing.

Is this woman wrong for not being able to get over the affair her husband had?

Let’s see what she had to say…

AITA for blowing up my marriage over an affair that ended years ago?

“I (34F) have been married to my husband (36M) for 8 years. We have two kids (6 and 4), a house, a decent life.

Nothing flashy, just solid.

Or so I thought…

She got some horrible news.

About a month ago, I was organizing old photos on our shared computer and stumbled across a folder buried in a backup drive.

It was from around 2019.

Most of it was boring stuff—receipts, work docs—until I found a screenshot of a hotel confirmation… and a few blurry, very personal selfies that were very much not taken by me. Same timestamp.

My stomach dropped.

He knew he got caught.

I confronted him that night.

He looked like a ghost. Didn’t even deny it. He admitted everything.

He had a six-month affair with a coworker during a rough patch in our marriage (our oldest was a newborn, we were sleep-deprived, fighting constantly, etc).

According to him, it ended completely when she moved out of state and he never told me because “it was over and wouldn’t happen again.”

And… it hasn’t.

He’s been, by all accounts, a great partner since then. Supportive, affectionate, hands-on dad, loyal—at least from everything I could see. I had no idea.

She’s struggling with this.

But now I feel like my whole life is a lie.

The memories I thought were happy—our anniversary trip, our baby’s first steps, even the night we conceived our second kid—all happened while he was lying to me.

I left to stay with my sister for a bit. I told him I don’t know what I want. I’m angry, heartbroken, humiliated.

He’s begging for forgiveness, saying he was stupid and selfish and that he thought he was “protecting me from pain.”

Her family thinks she should let it go.

His family knows and they’re begging me not to “throw everything away over something that’s been over for years.”

Even my own mom said, “If he’s been good to you since, is it worth destroying your kids’ home over the past?”

But it still happened. And I still just found out.

I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I can’t look at him without feeling betrayed all over again. I didn’t get to process this when it happened. I get to process it now. And it feels fresh, even if it’s not.

AITA for blowing up my marriage over an affair that technically ended years ago?”

That would be really hard to deal with. Perhaps marriage counseling would be a place a start.

Check out what Reddit users had to say.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another reader agreed.

This Reddit user shared their thoughts.

Another individual weighed in.

And this reader spoke up.

She’s thinking about ending her marriage over this…

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