Raising a special needs child takes a lot of effort and planning for the whole family.

What would you do if your parents were getting older and they wanted you to take in your special needs sister when they were no longer able?

That is the situation the young woman in this story is in, but she said she can’t provide full care and suggested a group home, which upset her parents.

Check it out.

AITAH for not wanting to take care of my special needs sister?

So before I go on, I don’t hate my sister but I do hate the circumstances of her situation and what it has done to us.

My childhood was less than ideal I became a third parent to my sister from 8 on.

Everything became about her which I get she needed it.

This is a horribly difficult situation, but taking care of herself will allow her to better advocate for her sister.

Now here is the issue.

Our parents are getting older and my dad’s MS has progressed so he can no longer work.

My mom cannot hold down the household on her own income.

They came to me for help, but I told them they need to think of a permanent solution cause I have no desire to become my sisters caregiver.

I told them I am fine with being her advocate but I will not take on the role they want me to.

My parents were not exactly happy because I told them it maybe was time to look for a group home for my sister.

I understand the risks of group homes but as I told them I shaped my life around my sister until I left for college.

Before that everything was about her, I could not do anything unless she was apart of it.

My birthday was no longer my own after a certain point.

Setting boundaries can be very difficult.

I feel horrible, I saw the look on their faces they were completely disappointed in me.

I feel horrible, I thought setting a boundary was supposed to make you feel better.

This is a very hard situation for everyone involved, but it sounds like this woman is pushing for a situation that will be sustainable in the long run instead of something that might feel good temporarily, which is the right thing to do.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about it.

Unfortunately, this is the case.

This person sums it up well.

Setting boundaries is hard, but important.

They need to work with the relevant agencies right away.

This is a good approach.

The parents have ignored this challenge for to long and now they can’t ignore it anymore.

The bottom line is they need to be making decisions for the long term care of their special needs daughter, and that care can’t rely exclusively on this sister.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.