Every family is unique, with different types of people and different types of events that are put on.

What would you do if you were rarely invited to family get-togethers, and when you were, it was as an afterthought?

That is what the young man in this story was experiencing, so he finally called his family out on it.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA Speaking up about being treated as an outsider in my family?

Hi, My cousin is having a wedding this year and was handing out invitations to family members.

Everybody seems to have received one except for myself.

A month later I now have an invite but only to the after-party and not to the ceremony.

Sometimes just one thing can really set you off.

It’s ended up being the straw that broke the camels back.

I’ve been treated as an outsider my whole life within my extended family and it all started to become clearer when my grandma passed.

The funeral came and I was given no details about what was happening other than a time or a date.

They should know that he was close to Grandma.

I need to preface with the fact while I was a child I spent more time with her than anyone.

My mum was a single mum working full time so I used to spend 5 days a week at with my grandparents from around 5-18 years of age.

So, we get to the crematorium and it’s a great send off. The only issue is when they were sending her away family members started to standup and walk over to the coffin to say there good byes but I was strategically located in the middle row right and the end next to the window so I couldn’t do anything about so I had to say my goodbyes to myself.

I was devastated but said nothing as it wasn’t the time or place for such things.

I wonder why the family dislikes him so much.

My daughter was born not long after and other than my mother, only one relative visited to see the baby.

Not a call, not a card not even a Facebook message saying congrats or a show of support but they all rallied around after my cousin had her second child.

About six months or so later they decide to scatter her ashes.

Again, I had no awareness of this as apparently it was for immediate children only. Except said cousin who’s now getting married somehow found it and inserted herself into the gathering and off they went.

If it were just immediate family, that would be fine, but it wasn’t.

They all made the walk to the location and at no point did anyone call me to give me one last chance to say farewell.

I only found out there was a large family gathering a few hours later after everyone else had already arrived to gathering, so I was given a last minute call. An after thought basically. (BTW this all happened in the last 3 years and is only the tip of the iceberg)

At this point I’m definitely feeling left out but now my cousin is getting married and I’ve been left out the main event yet again and only invited as an after thought.

Yet my ENTIRE extended family (Ones who are still contactable anyway) are invited.

So, I decided to speak up and say that its hurtful and unfair that I’m being left out of family celebrations when I’ve tried so hard to fit in with everyone.

Of course, they don’t want him to make a big deal out of it.

I’m now being being told that I shouldn’t be making a big deal about it and that it’s nice thing being done that I’m even invited to the evening party.

I agree she has every right to invite who she wants to whatever she wants but I also feel like I have the right to be upset considering everything else that has happened.

Am I being the jerk for complaining or is it right for me to have said something after, what I feel like is, poor treatment that I’m recieving?

AITA?

It is perfectly fine to bring it up, but I would suggest trying to do it in a calm way to try to get to the bottom of it, rather than starting a fight.

Let’s see what other people on Reddit have to say about it.

This commenter says to disengage with the family.

This person wants more information.

Time to go low or no contact.

More context was definitely needed.

Yeah, this does seem weird.

Bottom line, you don’t have to associate with family.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.