July 23, 2025 at 10:55 pm

Deaf Teen Spent Years Learning To Speak Like Her Family, But They Never Bothered To Learn To Sign Like Her

by Benjamin Cottrell

girl looking down in disappointment

Pexels/Reddit

Families are supposed to meet each other halfway, especially when it comes to how they communicate.

One deaf teen had adapted her communication for their family practically her whole life, but when she asked for the same in return, it revealed mismatched expectations and hurt feelings.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

AITA for wanting my immediate family to learn ASL (american sign language) after 12 years of not using it as my main language?

I’m 16 and was born deaf with auditory neuropathy.

In my early childhood, I used ASL as my main language, but as I got older, I became more verbal and hearing-based as I started hearing.

But when she got back into sign language, she realized it was more helpful than she thought.

Since then, I have forgotten most of my ASL and am currently learning it again.

I’m at an almost functional level, and when signing with my mom, I’ve noticed it’s a lot easier than trying to hear and fill in words I didn’t get.

I probably miss 40% of words but fill in a lot because of lip reading and context.

The main issue with listening is it takes so much energy for me, so I constantly feel burnt out.

So when she asks the rest of her family to learn the language, she’s disappointed in their response.

But since my only family members who know ASL are my mom and aunt, I have to verbally communicate with everyone else.

If I asked my family and step-family to put some effort in, WIBTA?

A little effort on her family’s part could go a long way here.

What did Reddit have to say?

They’re totally justified in asking for more support, but they also have to be okay with potentially looking for that support elsewhere.

Screenshot 2025 07 03 at 7.04.11 PM Deaf Teen Spent Years Learning To Speak Like Her Family, But They Never Bothered To Learn To Sign Like Her

This user is surprised that the rest of her family hasn’t made this important effort.

Screenshot 2025 07 03 at 7.05.13 PM Deaf Teen Spent Years Learning To Speak Like Her Family, But They Never Bothered To Learn To Sign Like Her

Communication is a two-way street and everyone should be willing to do their fair share.

Screenshot 2025 07 03 at 7.05.56 PM Deaf Teen Spent Years Learning To Speak Like Her Family, But They Never Bothered To Learn To Sign Like Her

It’s also important to set realistic expectations.

Screenshot 2025 07 03 at 7.06.32 PM Deaf Teen Spent Years Learning To Speak Like Her Family, But They Never Bothered To Learn To Sign Like Her

After years of adapting herself to everyone else’s world, asking her family to do the same was more than fair.

She was just asking them to try, but even that was too much.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.