For one teen, growing up meant constant sacrifice—birthday parties, outings, even family time—were always adjusted to suit his special needs siblings.

But when he finally celebrated for himself, it didn’t go over well.

Read on for the story.

AITA for doing things just for me and not thinking of my special needs siblings?

I (16m) have two special needs siblings (17f and 18m). My sister has intellectual disabilities and my brother is on the autism spectrum.

Both of my siblings have trouble being independent. They know some stuff and my parents had them in a school that helped them become their most independent selves.

But there are things they can’t do or can’t handle well and everything has always accommodated that. Even my birthday or if we celebrate an award I get at school.

Ugh.

My earlier birthday parties were in sensory playrooms where I couldn’t be too loud or run around in case it hurt the special needs kids who were there.

We didn’t eat the food I liked because my siblings couldn’t eat it.

When I got older my parents wouldn’t let me go to see a movie with my friends for my birthday because it couldn’t include my siblings.

Wow,

When I got invited to birthday parties I never knew if they’d let me go. One time they dropped my sister off with me and I had to make sure she was okay the entire time.

Then she broke down an hour into the party because it was too much noise for her and the parents had to call my parents and we both had to leave

. Anytime they did let me go my mom and dad would be frustrated that I didn’t grab anything for my siblings, and if I said the food wasn’t stuff they’d eat they’d say how awful the parents who threw the party were.

That’s WAY too much responsibility.

When I was 8 I got an award for a short story I wrote and my parents invited our extended family to celebrate with us.

They took us to a restaurant that had nothing I even liked and when I hardly ordered anything they got frustrated with me and they said nothing on the menu was impossible for me to eat and I was being difficult.

My grandpa offered to take me to another place afterward and they told him I didn’t get rewarded for acting out when I was already being celebrated and brought out for a treat.

Oh…

My parents never let grandparents or other family members take me for a sleepover without my siblings. They said it was all or none.

When they did, if the family members took me to do something that I’d enjoy and my parents found out they would freak.

My grandparents were forced into a no contact zone for like two years when they did it and my parents found out.

GEEZ.

I turned 16 not too long ago and on my birthday I went to my grandparents house and they brought me and my friends to the arcade and got us pizza and all kinds of stuff I never get to have.

My siblings were sick so my parents were too busy to notice until it was late.

They were angry when I got home and told me it was disgusting that I would exclude my siblings in that way.

That’s a little harsh.

Then two days ago I went somewhere with a friend and my parents found out. They asked me what the heck I was thinking of and how could I be so self absorbed.

I got lectured on the importance of making sure to include my siblings and taking care of them.

I resent it so much. But I know this is making things harder and that my parents won’t change. And maybe I’m wrong to want stuff for me and not thinking of my siblings. AITA?

Commenters rallied behind him, saying every kid deserves space to just be a kid—without guilt.

This person says they should be reported for abuse.

This person says to just wait til they turn 18 and say see ya later.

And this person says it’s unfortunate that they’re creating such resentment.

Wanting a slice of independence doesn’t make him the villain.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.