When you are young and in a relationship, it can be very painful and difficult to break up.

What would you do if you knew the relationship wasn’t healthy, but you didn’t want to hurt your girlfriend who relied on you for a lot?

That is the situation the guy in this story is in, and he isn’t sure if he would be a jerk if he broke up with her.

Check it out.

AITAH for putting myself first?

To keep a long story short(er) – I, 28M, had been dating a wonderful young woman 25F for the past three years.

Some people just aren’t meant to be.

In so many ways, she was perfect. Incredibly kind, sweet, thoughtful, and emotionally intelligent.

But I just couldn’t fight this nagging feeling that I’ve been experiencing for some time.

I feel so guilty that towards the end of our relationship, I wouldn’t even get excited to see her, and I felt like the biggest jerk in the world because of it.

I tried and tried to fight these feelings, I tried talking to her about some of the things that were bothering me, and it just wasn’t productive.

She had a tough upbringing and still has a strained relationship with her family, who she lives with, and they expect her to live with them until she finds a man of their religion to marry.

In the three years she never told her parents about us.

I did get to meet her brother once, but I wasn’t even invited to his wedding, which hurts.

Of course, when we broke up she told me she planned to tell them tomorrow, but I think it’s too late.

This girl needs to work on herself before she is ready to be with someone else.

She also doesn’t have many relationships at all that she can really depend on.

Which means for the past three years, I have been basically her only form of support, and since her family doesn’t know about me, I’m also always hosting.

It feels so stupid and shallow and unfair to her to break up with her because I don’t feel that she respected the values I tried to communicate, like organization, financial responsibility, my inability to be the ONLY person she goes to with a problem while I have my own serious mental health issues.

But I keep coming back to that feeling I would have when she’d call or come over.

Maybe neither of them were ready for a real relationship.

Of course there were wonderful and happy moments. I still care for her so deeply, and if she needed my help I would be there.

But I just was not feeling loved or heard in the way that I need.

Our intimacy was stunted throughout the relationship as well, I honestly think we made love fewer than 20 times during the whole relationship, it was always me to initiate.

I drove to her last night and told her in person. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I don’t like to hurt people if I can avoid it.

To be honest, I asked my Mom to drive me because I wasn’t sure if I could do it alone.

I am just feeling a lot right now and it’s hard to make sense of things.

So many things remind me of her and the good times.

AITA?

Not at all, this was just not a healthy relationship for either party, so it is good that it was ended, even if it was difficult.

Read on to see what the people in the comments think about it.

Yeah, she was hiding him. That’s not a good sign.

Break it off now rather than prolonging it.

He wasn’t feeling it anymore, so they should break up.

I agree, this is a dysfunctional relationship.

This person says it is a very hard situation.

Breaking up is never easy, but it is often necessary.

That’s life.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.