When you get married, you imagine a life of happiness and laughter, closeness and teamwork.

The reality is sometimes a little more… normal.

In the day to day, it’s less about romantic getaways and movie nights and more about the division of chores and talking about the same colleagues, the same TV shows, the same dinners.

If you’re with the right person, even this monotony can be bliss.

But if not? Or if you are, just you’ve not quite figured your couples’ communication out yet?

Well, as the woman in this story found out, the reality can be frustrating at best.

Read on to find out how this couple found themselves at loggerheads.

AITA for losing it at my husband?

I am a 29-year-old woman, married to a 25-year-old man. We both have full time jobs, and I am the one with the highest income in the relationship.

Last Tuesday, my husband asked if I needed help to cook or if he could go shower.

I told him I would get the food started and no problem, I didn’t need help at the moment.

Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, I expected he would take a quick shower and then help me when he was done.

Let’s see how this shower led to their relationship taking a downward turn.

He took 1 hour and 45 minutes showering, spending time on his phone, in the bedroom.

I got mad and told him “no problem, go take a shower” doesn’t mean “go enjoy Instagram reels while I become the maid.”

He told me I was unfair, and that he doesn’t have time to exercise, shower, cook and all other necessities of a household after work if he spends his time doing chores. He said it’s the only little free time he has after work and he would like to have some time for himself.

I explained that I work full time too, and the same applies to me as well.

Read on to find out how this situation developed between the couple.

We moved to my home country in 2024, and he didn’t speak the language.

He said it’s easy for me to say since he had to move, leave his family behind, learn a language he didn’t know.

Now he says he has to spend eight hours struggling with the new language in an office.

He said he makes enough efforts as it is, and I am in my home country and working remote so I have it easier.

Let’s see how she reacted.

I got mad at him and told him that for the course of our relationship it has always been the same. He never made me breakfast once. If we want breakfast, I have to wake up and do it.

I do 80% of the household tasks. When something needs to be done, he can help but he needs to be directed like a toddler.

If the fridge is disgusting and needs cleaning, he could live with it for six months without problem. I have to be the one telling him “the fridge needs cleaning please” at least 3-4 times before he actually does it while complaining.

His favorite thing to say: “I was gonna do it but I hate being forced to do something, the more people push me to do things the more I hate doing them.”

Yikes! This has left her feeling more than a little bitter.

I am just tired of being the “brain” of the relationship.

On his end, he says everything is always about me, and he moved to a new country out of love for me, leaving his family behind, and I fail to recognize all the efforts it takes.

AITA?

There’s some serious resentment building in this relationship, on both sides.

It’s understandable that he’s finding the situation difficult – communicating all day in a new language is tiring to say the least, and having a life around full time work is hard anyway.

But that doesn’t mean that his wife should be doing all the chores, all the time.

Let’s see how the folks of Reddit reacted to this.

This person agreed that he was taking her for granted.

And others saw some serious red flags.

Meanwhile, this Redditor urged her to consider how their situation might develop into the future.

This couple really need to work on their communication.

But he also needs to consider whether he’s really pulling his weight in the relationship – moving countries isn’t a trade off for doing all of the chores.

Meanwhile, she needs to consider whether someone who is putting all the pressure on her is really what she’s looking for.

She’s worth more than that.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.