Some people forget that your plans matter, too.

Imagine getting excited to finally celebrate your own milestone birthday, only to find out your sister moved her child’s party to the exact same day and expected you to just go along with it. What would you do?

In the following story, one young woman finds herself dealing with this scenario and decides to focus on her own celebration. Here’s how it all went down.

AITA for not going to my niece’s first birthday after originally saying I would?

I (20F) come from an African household where family is everything.

Growing up, I never had a birthday party because it was considered “too expensive,” and I’ve never really received gifts from my family, aside from the occasional one from a friend or my boyfriend.

So, birthdays have always been a bit sore for me.

My niece’s birthday is on September 21st, and mine is on the 27th. When my sister told me she wanted to throw a party for my niece’s first birthday, I was obviously happy to attend.

The sister had reasons for waiting an extra week for the party.

I go to uni in Plymouth, and my family is in London, so I booked time off work to travel up for the weekend of the 21st, assuming the party would be held then.

But now my sister has booked a hall for the 27th, my birthday.

She said she couldn’t do the party the weekend of my niece’s actual birthday because she didn’t want her friends to have to travel with their kids on a Sunday, and she refuses to do it on Saturday (the 20th) because “you can’t celebrate a birthday before it’s happened.”

So now she’s settled on my birthday weekend instead.

Sadly, she already has plans on that date.

I wanted to spend the day with my boyfriend. I already booked time off for that weekend, and so did he. We were planning something lowkey but meaningful, especially since this year is my 21st and my first proper milestone birthday that I’ll be able to celebrate.

My sister says I already agreed to come (which I did, before I knew the date had changed). She even said I could bring my friends, but none of my London friends will be around; they’ll all be back at uni, too. And my uni friends from Plymouth obviously can’t travel five hours and miss uni just to come to a kid’s party full of strangers.

I love my niece, and I do want to celebrate her, but I’ve never been able to do so properly, and now, the one time I thought I could, I might be stuck alone again.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see both sides, but plans do change.

Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit think about this.

This reader suggests she celebrate her own birthday.

Here’s a sentiment many people will agree with.

As this person mentions, the niece won’t remember.

Excellent advice from this reader.

She should stick to her plans. As others have mentioned, the one-year-old won’t remember, and you only turn 21 once!

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.