When you’re 10 and both your parents are gone, who you choose to live with can shape your whole life.

One man’s choice to stay with his grandparents still haunts his half-siblings decades later—but he refuses to apologize for it.

Read on for the story. 

AITA for telling my half siblings I will never regret choosing to live with my grandparents over them and their mom?

I (33m) lost both of my parents by the time I was 10. My mom when I was 5 and my dad when I was 9.

My dad had remarried and had a kid with his wife and they had another on the way when he died.

My grandparents and dad’s widow fought for custody of me and because I wanted to be with my grandparents, they won the custody battle.

Wow.

I didn’t spend a lot of time with my half siblings back then and I resisted playing happy families with them and their mom. She wanted me with them and she felt like I belonged with them but

I felt like I belonged with my real family and luckily that’s where I was. For years I had no contact with my half siblings at all.

This all changed three years ago when they reached out and said they wanted to know me and have me in their lives.

Oh boy.

We talk once a month and DM a little in between. They want the relationship with me more than I do. But even more than that, they have expressed on a number of occasions that they feel like the courts made the wrong decision and they feel my choice was wrong.

They keep looking for me to regret the choice. And they have mentioned several times that their mom has longed for a relationship with me and misses me.

A few times they called their mom my mom. I corrected them and would always make it clear I never considered her my mom. They never understood this and they questioned me on this and I always answered.

Get it right.

Last time we talked they told me they need to hear me say I regret choosing to live with my grandparents over them and their mom.

They said it’s something that haunted their family for years. And they need to know if I could go back I’d make a different decision.

I told them that would be a lie and I have never regretted it. I told them being raised by my family was better than being raised by the woman my dad married. I said I never thought of her as a parent or as my family.

Sorry not sorry.

They asked me how I could get to my age and have kids (I have three) and feel that way. They told me being raised by a parent would have been better than being raised by grandparents.

I said if I had a parent then yes, but I didn’t. Both my parents are dead and their mom was never one of mine. Then they had me confirm my lack of regret and they said I was cold and should have a heart considering their mom fought so hard for me and loved me as her own.

I refused to apologize and they were more than happy to talk at me for hours about how awful I am. Instead of listening I ended the call.

AITA?

Sometimes, standing by the family that gave you love and stability is worth more than placating people who want to rewrite your past.

Everyone is on OP’s side.

This person makes a case for why the siblings are actually mad.

This person says they have an unhealthy obsession.

And this person compares it to a Hallmark movie (not the feed-good kind).

No regrets, no apologies—and definitely no rewriting history for someone else’s feelings.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.