A lot of moral questions come down to “like it or not, is this thing your DUTY in an ethical sense?”

In philosophy it’s sometimes called a moral imperative – a thing you just HAVE to do in order to be moral, no matter how you feel about it.

But defining what does and doesn’t fit into that category is a slippery subject, as we see here.

This man is questioning the definition of family. He feels pushed to help his half siblings, but he really doesn’t want to.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not saving half siblings I have no relationship with from foster care?

My parents marriage broke down 11 years ago.

I (now 25m) didn’t see my dad once the marriage ended. He reached out a couple of times but I told him I would never play happy families with him and the woman he cheated with so he left me alone.

There were times members of my extended family encouraged me to change my stance. Some even praised his affair partner and said I’d like her.

I actually dropped the rope with many relatives who were pushing for this.

There were others who didn’t push or backed off when I said. But they’d bring up dad occasionally.

I knew he had other kids. Never felt a need to meet them.

But then, sadly, tragedy struck.

Last year my dad and his wife were involved in an accident. She died immediately and he died a week later.

Their kids were with our shared grandparents but my grandpa has a criminal record and the kids weren’t allowed to stay with them.

My aunts and uncles didn’t step up.

Everyone expected me and my wife (25f) to step up instead. Since we’re married and both have stable jobs and we’re young it was seen as the perfect solution. And they passed my name along to the case worker and I was contacted once.

And I said no which was accepted.

Now the family thinks it’s on him, but he disagrees.

There was backlash from relatives. I blocked many of them.

It died down for a while but last month they learned the kids were in and out of different homes and had been separated twice in the months they’ve been in foster care.

They visit the kids which is how they learned all this but it made them angry with me. Even though I have aunts and uncles who never even tried to take them to the best of my knowledge.

So I don’t feel bad.

Who’s right about this?

A lot of dad’s family think I should feel bad. They say I could have, should have, saved the kids from foster care.

I don’t believe so and my wife agrees, but after blocking in so many different places and seeing how worked up they are, I wanted to ask online. AITA?

They may be related, but they’re not really family. Someone else should step up to take in the kids.

Let’s check in with the comments on Reddit:

You’re not the only person in this situation saying no.

“Family” has a lot of different connotations.

Again, who’s not stepping up?

It’s not better for these kids to be living with new parents who never wanted them there.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.