I guess some people have a listening problem, huh?

And it sure sounds like this woman’s boyfriend does!

She is really busy at work right around her birthday, and she told her boyfriend that. She thought he understood. Now, she’s wondering if she’s wrong not to be happy about his surprise.

Read the story to see if you think she did anything wrong when she reacted to what her boyfriend did…

AITA for complaining that my partner made birthday plans for a day I’m busy?

“My (49F) birthday is in about a month.

My s/o (45M) asked what I wanted to do to celebrate and I said nothing, as I am very busy with work that week organizing a huge event for that weekend.

We agreed to do something after the event is over, when I will be less stressed and busy.

But her boyfriend didn’t stick to that agreement.

The other day he texted me and told me to not be busy on my birthday because we have plans.

I am busy that day, as I have a work meeting that night. When I asked if these plans could be done another day if i was not available, he said “make yourself available”.

It turns out he bought tickets to a show as a surprise.

Uh oh…

I said that I’m busy that day, but if he really can’t change the date I will find a way to make it work.

That turned into a huge argument, and he is now angry with me for making an issue out of what was meant to be a nice gesture. And also for not being available on my birthday for him to make plans with me, because he says I should have known people would want to make plans.

I’m now wondering if I just shouldn’t have said anything. In the end, there’s nothing I can change about this plan, and I decided I am going to skip the meeting to go.

Since it wasn’t helpful to say anything, I’m wondering if I was in the wrong for bringing up my problems with it, and if I should have just smiled and acted happy and grateful and then dealt with it myself after.

She’s torn about this…

I also feel bad for not feeling grateful or happy, and for only seeing this as a problem to solve and a night I’m going to be stressed thinking about all the work I won’t be getting done and have to pretend to enjoy myself so I don’t look ungrateful, which just sounds miserable and stressful to me.

But it’s not his fault I’m busy, so maybe I should have kept all this to myself?

AITA?

I’m not a workaholic or anything, this huge yearly event just happens to take place the same week as my birthday every year. This is the only week of the year I’m this busy.”

Was her boyfriend wrong to make plans, or was she wrong not to be excited about the surprise?

Reddit users spoke up.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another individual agreed.

This Reddit user had a lot to say.

Another reader spoke up.

And this Reddit user had a lot to say.

It sounds like these two have some serious communication issues.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.