When young parents rely too heavily on their support system, the line between help and obligation can quickly blur.

In this story, one couple’s habit of offloading parenting tasks onto family members started to feel less like favors and more like demands.

Eventually, it left others wondering who was actually raising their child.

You’ll want to read on for this one.

WIBTA If I tell my SIL I prefer to look after my own kids, not hers?

I’m (40M) a father of 3.

My SIL (27F) and her husband (27M) had their first kid 2 years ago. She’s my wife’s sister, and we tend to see each other at least once a month for family events.

His family has their own way of parenting.

For my wife and me, we manage our kids ourselves.

If we go somewhere, one of us is always keeping an eye on them, making sure they’re not getting into trouble—especially making sure the youngest (a toddler) is safe—changing her if necessary, refilling her sippy cup, stuff like that. It’s our job. If something happens, one of us pops up and takes care of it.

But his in-laws couldn’t be more different.

SIL and her husband take a different approach and are frequently asking for help. If we’re all eating dinner and their kid has a poopy diaper, they’ll sometimes get it, sometimes turn to one of us and ask, “Would you mind?”

The other day, I’m at a party and just came back inside after getting something for my kids, ready to sit down to eat, and SIL asks, “[Baby] left her sippy cup upstairs—would you mind getting it?”

The thing is, his in-laws are more than capable of doing it themselves.

Her and her husband both sitting down and perfectly capable. It’s not like they’ve asked a few times when they’re overwhelmed or there’s only one of them—there have been times one of them is lying on a couch reading a book and asks me for something.

And it’s starting to rub him the wrong way.

It’s not like what they ask for is anything I’d consider a huge inconvenience, so I feel petty saying something—but part of me just wants to say, “Look, my wife and I are responsible for our kids—you’re responsible for yours. I don’t ask you to change our kids’ diapers or grab their sippy cups from the next room, don’t ask me.”

WIBTA?

Helping now and then is one thing, but their current dynamic is unsustainable.

What did Reddit make of all this?

There are ways to object to this that don’t cause unnecessary drama.

Someone really needs to put a stop to this over-dependence before it gets out of hand.

If they do choose to push back, it matters who the pushback comes from.

It’s time for these parents to start stepping up for their own kids.

They don’t want to cause any tension, but they also know they can’t continue with the status quo.

Family support is a gift, not a given. And it should never come in place of actual parenting.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.