They already threw one beach bash for his birthday, but when his sister demanded a do-over, things went off the rails.

Now she wants them to host (and cover) a whole second party—and they’re wondering if canceling would make them the villains.

Read on for the story.

WIBTA if I canceled my husband’s birthday party?

His birthday was last month. His family is obsessed with celebrating birthdays, even though we are all 30yo+.

That’s fine, but you can understand how hard it is to get 10+ family and friends together for every single birthday when everyone is working different schedules.

When his birthday was approaching, I had heard nothing about plans but knew his sister had bought him tons of gifts, so I stepped up and sent out an invite for something my husband wanted to do – a barbecue at the beach. Free, relaxing, and a chance to enjoy the beautiful weather.

Sounds lovely.

His sister responded, disappointed, that she and her family would actually prefer dinner at a restaurant because they want to be indoors/in the AC.

My first thoughts were that, if you are invited to an event that you can’t or don’t want to attend for some reason, asking the host to cancel or change those plans entirely is quite rude.

In an effort to stand our ground, we let them know we were going ahead with the barbecue, but if they wanted to plan a separate birthday dinner, they were welcome to.

Come or don’t, okay?

So, SIL chooses this upcoming weekend for a family-feast-style dinner at a nearby restaurant. Neat! We adjust our schedules to accommodate.

As the day approaches, husband reaches out to sister to ask what the plans are. Turns out, she has nothing planned – hasn’t invited anyone else, hasn’t made reservations, and hasn’t looked at the menu to calculate the cost breakdown.

The family meals at the restaurant come to $120 each, feeding 4 people. That would feed SIL’s family alone. With the rest of us added, we would need at least 2 meals to feed everyone. When we talked all this over with SIL, she realized that the cost splitting would still be over $30pp. That’s when she admitted that they just paid their bills and can’t afford it.

Oh boy.

No worries. Sorry it didn’t work out! Nope. She’s now asking us to plan something else, something that’s less expensive, because she’s out of ideas.

“Can we have the party at your place?” Why, so I get to buy all the food and stress about prepping the apartment to host on short notice?

“Wish we could, but our house is a mess while we’re reorganizing”. She is currently waiting for us to think of something else.

What’s wrong with her?

Considering: 1) we already hosted a birthday party that she didn’t want to go to, 2) her poor planning would have ended with us footing a $200+ bill, and 3) the series of inconsiderate requests, my husband and I are ready to cancel.

Knowing this would break her heart, WIBTA?

Sometimes standing your ground means pulling the plug when people keep pushing your generosity to the limit—even if it ruffles some family feathers.

Everyone on Reddit agrees: NTA.

This person says his sister’s preferences is on HER, not OP.

This person points out that she has already had two chances.

And this person puts it into perspective.

One birthday, two parties, zero common sense.

Sounds like it’s time to call it off.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.