Everyone grieves differently when they lose a loved one, and sometimes it can cause conflict for those who are still alive.

What would you do if you had a friend who died, and now another friend was going to tell everyone that they were best friends when they really weren’t.

That is the situation that the friend in this story is in, so she lashed out at her friends and they are saying she is overreacting.

Check it out.

AITA for telling someone to not lie about our friend who passed away at his wedding

My best friend- we’ll call her Bee- from my university days passed away during summer holidays three years ago and it was a difficult time but since then, I’ve done a lot of healing and I’m in a good place now.

I want to make this clear because I’ve been accused of ‘lashing out’ from grief which is not true in my opinion.

This seems like a great way to remember her.

I had set up an annual call with a group of her close friends as a tradition to celebrate her memory, which happened yesterday.

There is one friend- J- that I had this fight with. J announced that he wanted to invite all of us to his wedding and that he wanted to do a toast for Bee.

For context, it was Bee that had introduced J and C to each other.

When this was happening, J and Bee used to be really close so she spent a lot of time with them as a couple or 1on1. But this was at least a year before her passing.

Since we we are all uni friends, we didn’t know each other for a long time so the fact that they hadn’t been close for almost a year before her passing is very relevant.

Some people embellish to make themselves or others look good.

Now, here’s the problem. J shared a little bit of the toast he was planning to do for Bee and a lot of things in it were exaggerated or lies.

He repeatedly refers to Bee and him being “best friends” which was not true.

They hadn’t been very close for a while and for a while before she passed away, they were no contact because he had ghosted her.

I know all of this because she had admitted to being very sad about this and I was also upset on her behalf. This was a regular pattern because she had come to me many times for being sad about J’s behavior towards her.

It sounds like the couple just wants to make themselves look good.

In the toast, he was mentioning how Bee had been their biggest supporter and how he and his fiancé consider Bee their family.

But in truth, J’s fiancé and Bee were also not close at all. They’d had a major falling out and Bee did not even consider J’s finance as a friend.

I thought this was very disrespectful to Bee’s memory. And called him out for lying about what was actually true.

I asked him firmly to revise his toast and not to lie about the dead since they had not actually been close. But he refused completely and said that I cannot ‘minimize his feelings’ towards our mutual friend, especially because they had been so much closer.

Honestly, it does sound like she is still grieving.

I did lose my cool and tell J about how many times he had been insufferable and a bad friend to Bee.

We both doubled down and I told him that I absolutely won’t come to the wedding before I ended the call for everyone (I was the host).

Later, I got a long message from J telling me that I was the out of line and just ‘lashing out’ because I wasn’t mature enough to ‘process my feelings’. The call had only five people so it wasn’t a public confrontation and nobody else has said anything.

So, AITA?

This is a difficult situation. She does not know the feelings of “J” and “C” but also, her friend Bee isn’t there to defend herself.

It might not have been the right time or place to talk about this though.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

I think she is grieving more than she realizes.

I agree with this commenter.

This commenter says that “J” was close with Bee.

There is nothing wrong with remembering the good times.

She mans well, but is out of line.

You can’t be the gatekeeper of other people’s friendships.

Life doesn’t work that way.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.