Past experiences can make big milestones feel more stressful than exciting.

So, what would you do if the last time you graduated, a parent’s reaction turned your proudest moment into a painful memory?

Would you invite them again and risk a repeat?

Or would you keep the day to yourself and tell them once it’s over?

In the following story, one woman grapples with this very decision and wants to protect her peace.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for not telling my mom I’m graduating until after the ceremony ?

So, I’m about to graduate for the second time. But this time, my mom won’t know until I’ve already done the whole ceremony.

During my first degree graduation, it was supposed to be one of those “proud family moments.”

But for me, it was heavy. I had fought tooth and nail to finish that course, and I almost got expelled for an exam irregularity that luckily didn’t go through.

That whole year was a nightmare.

By the time graduation came, I was holding back tears all morning.

Her mother did the opposite of comforting her.

I broke down. Fully. Crying my eyes out while trying to put on the gown.

One of the ladies helping to pin the gowns saw me, called my mom aside, and told her gently that it’s normal for people to get emotional on such a big day.

Instead of comforting me, my mom just said, “Don’t be stupid and emotional,” right there. She told me to stop “overreacting” because it should be a happy day.

Even after the gown lady pinned me for free and scolded my mom for being mean to me, she kept hurrying me, scolding me like I was ruining her day.

This time, she wants it to be different.

I didn’t even get to take pictures with my classmates. She told me, “If you don’t want to go, stay here, you’ll bring yourself,” and basically rushed me out.

By the end of the day, my biggest memory of my graduation wasn’t my hard work. It was feeling humiliated.

So this time, I’ve decided to protect my peace. I’ll go, graduate, take my pictures, celebrate with friends… then I’ll tell her afterwards.

I love my mom she’s shown up for me in many ways but I don’t trust her not to make this about her feelings instead of letting me experience mine.

AITA?

Wow! There’s no wonder she feels this way.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit think she should do.

This person thinks she should enjoy her day.

Here’s someone who offers congratulations.

For this reader, it’s her day.

According to this person, she’s allowed to be emotional.

That’s a great plan!

And if it makes her feel better, she doesn’t even have to tell her mom at all.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.