When you grow up in a toxic family situation, it can be difficult to know where to turn.

You don’t always want to abandon your family, but sometimes when the situation is abusive and detrimental to your mental health, you have nowhere else to turn.

So when the person in this story went no contact with their family, they were harassed for doing so.

But the sacrifice was worth it.

Read on to find out just how dire their childhood was.

AITA when my mom and aunt share the same men/fathers for their children and created a toxic mess, and I refuse to have contact with my siblings as long as they continue the toxic cycle

I grew up in a crazy situation, and in that context, I’m “lucky” in a sense.

The only siblings I have are half siblings that my mom gave birth to.

In total, I have seven younger siblings. Ella and Micha are full siblings to each other. Jessica is next. Peter and Lucy are full siblings too.

Then the baby is Sarah, but when I left mom was pregnant again with another kid from Sarah’s father. That baby would be born now, but I never met them.

Uh-oh. This situation is only going to get weirder.

The mess all started when my mom’s sister slept with my father while my mom was expecting me. She broke up with him and fought with her sister.

My father later died, so had no other kids except for me. But all of this kick started my mom and aunt sleeping with each other’s partners to retaliate for the other doing it – and so the cycle continues.

My aunt had like eight kids last time I looked. Two were with Ella and Micha’s father, three were with Jessica’s father, and one was with Peter and Lucy’s father.

Then she had two last I knew about with Sarah’s father.

Yikes! Read on to hear about the toxic situation that all this mess brought about.

This mess was brought up on the daily, either in fights between them or fights between my siblings and cousins, who were also half siblings.

The bad blood runs deep on both sides and it was SO toxic.

I’m talking trouble at school, trouble in the neighborhood, police being called because of fights at two in the morning kind of toxic.

My aunt was weirdly obsessed with me too, because I was the kid who didn’t share a father with anyone. Sometimes I think she wanted to kidnap me.

This did not make for a happy childhood.

I have seen more fights than most people. Some of them get really nasty too.

My siblings don’t want to know their cousins/siblings and don’t want to claim them, but at least some pretend they don’t want to give them up because they’re jealous at the thought they would have a better life. Each side that was “first” likes to remind the others that they shouldn’t exist and it’s gross that they do.

I never brought friends home with me because I tried to keep the family mess away from my personal life. And I didn’t want friends to be kept from me because their families didn’t want that kind of influence around them.

But sometimes I did get kept from kids because we were that family everyone talked about and the cluster**** was brought up everywhere.

All of this left this eldest sibling with no choice.

I resented it all my life, and when I turned 18 I ran as far away as I could.

I went no contact with my mom, aunt and cousins. I kept minimal contact with my siblings until I realized it wasn’t healthy and never could be in these circumstances.

My siblings just keep repeating the toxic ****, and even though some are very young still I couldn’t do it. I ended up blocking the siblings who have phones because they were so mad at me for bailing and not being more present.

I won’t ever have a relationship with them again if they can’t get away from that toxic mess. My life was messed up enough because of it and even if my siblings are younger than I am, I won’t deal with it for them.

AITA?

They are absolutely right to want to escape all of this toxicity and the crazy family reputation that no doubt haunts them in their hometown.

Growing up amongst all this drama, not to mention witnessing such deep hostility and violence, will undoubtedly cause trauma in anyone, and getting away is the best way.

Not only does it give them the space to process everything, they can also make a new life for themselves away from everything, and that is the best way for them to have a chance at a drama-free life.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person empathised and explained that their decision was the only one that could protect them and their possibility of a future.

While others encouraged them to focus on their found family instead.

And this Redditor pointed out that the fathers of the children deserve as much blame as the moms.

There is no way that any child – adult or otherwise – could live a healthy and happy life amidst this toxic maelstrom.

Getting out is the only option, even if this does mean leaving others behind.

After all, they will have their own choice to make when they are adults: they can either follow in the freeing footsteps of their older sibling, or stay in the mess.

But it’s not this person’s fault; for now, all they can save is themselves.

Good on them.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.