Well, friends, here we go again…

It’s time for another wacky story about customer service from Reddit’s “Tales From Retail” page!

Read on to see what happened this time…

Saying ‘no’ to a customer…kind of.

“You know how they always say “Never say ‘no’ to a customer” in retail?

Well, there was a time where I was actually able to get away with telling a customer no. Well kind of…

This is from when I was working for a big-box electronics company that was in the process of going bankrupt at the time and was closing its stores. I was the person in charge of processing returns.

FYI…

Want to know what one of the first things that happen when a store is in the process of closing? It stops taking returns. The receipt printers would print this on the receipts, and the cashier would either write “all sales final” or highlight the ‘no return’ on the receipts.

So since I was in charge of dealing with returns at a store that was no longer taking returns, you can imagine what my workload did. So I spent my time wandering the store, helping where I could with what I could.

One day I found myself at the customer service desk, dealing with a customer who wanted to… yup, return something. I think it was some car-accessory gizmo but I don’t remember.

I just remember that it was sold for $28.20. Yeah I know, my brain remembers some crazy pointless things. Anyway, his receipt had it written in red magic marker “NO RETURNS” on it.

This sounds frustrating…

So cue a 10-12 minute conversation that went something like:
him: I want to return this.

me: I’m sorry sir but we’re no longer accepting returns.

him: why not?

me: Because the store is closing.

him: But I want to return this.

me: I’m sorry sir, but we’re not accepting returns anymore.

him: But I drove down here to return this.

me: I’m sorry sir, as it says on your receipt we are not accepting returns anymore.

Yikes…

him: But I need to return this.

me: I’m sorry sir, but we are no longer accepting returns.

him: Why not?

me: Because the store, and company, are closing. All sales are final.

him: But I bought it last week so I’m in the returns period.

me: Yes sir, you would be in the returns period if the company were accepting returns and were undertaking normal operations. But we are closing, so all sales are final as it says on your receipt.

him: But I need to return this.

me: I’m sorry, but all sales are final and we are not accepting returns.

him: But I want to return this.

It was getting more heated.

I think you can fill in the rest of the 10-minute conversation. With each repetition, this guy is getting just that little bit more ****** off as he is trying to gear to strong-arm his way into making us take a return. for the record, we were incapable of actually performing a return.

The entire function had been disabled in the registers so beyond taking the item, throwing in a corner and waiting for the inventory mismatch it would pop up as in 3 weeks, stealing $28.20 from a register and handing it to him, there was nothing we could do.

So this isn’t a case of ‘we were choosing to not take a return’ or anything like that.

Finally, the guy decides we’ve hit that magical point where he can get away with asking to see a manager and make the request to see the manager.

While I was technically a supervisor and not a manager, I was emboldened by the reality of the store closing. I literally had 3 weeks left in the job, had no performance incentives, got paid by the hour, and already had my schedule for the next three weeks confirmed.

I don’t think it was possible to be fired at that point.

Hey, why not?

So I opted to have some fun.

I turned around right in front of him, clasped my hands behind my back, put on the fakest smile I could summon the energy to do, turned back around to face him and said:

“Hello sir, I’m the manager. How can I help you?” In the absolute most obscenely ‘brain-washed worker-drone that has been trained to be cheerful and happy as they anatomically can be’ tone I could think of at the time.

That didn’t go well!

Dude turns tomato red and gets super ****** off. He starts screaming about calling corporate and getting me fired. Still having some fun with this, I pick up the phone, and dial the corporate number, put it on speaker and crank the volume to max.

“Hello and thank you for calling [company name]. We regret to inform you that [company name] will be closing its doors on [date]. But you can still cash in on some great deals. Be sure to check out our stores for closing deals on the latest hot tech. Be advised that all sales are final and we are not accepting any returns. Thank you for your business” played over the speaker followed by a moment of silence before it repeated.

The guy just gets more angry and declares he was going to sue us and stormed out leaving the item he wanted to return on the counter. Never did hear anything else from him.”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person weighed in.

Another individual spoke up.

This Reddit user had a lot to say.

This person was impressed.

And this reader chimed in.

I guess some people don’t know the meaning of ALL SALES ARE FINAL.

Thought that was satisfying? Check out what this employee did when their manager refused to pay for their time while they were traveling for business.