Planning weddings takes a lot of work, and it should be done to try to make the big day perfect for the bride and groom.

What would you do if your mother was trying to force you into doing her dream wedding rather than your own?

That is what is happening to the bride-to-be in this story, and she isn’t sure if she is out of line for fighting with her mom about every detail.

AITA for Wanting Backyard Wedding?

My mom and I are completely at odds abt this wedding.

My wedding.

I hope mom plans on paying for it if she gets her way.

She wanted to have it in the city and a restaurant which would cost at least 8000-10,000 ($85/a head at the least, 100-120 people) just for food and venue. I guess that’s most important.

It’s not really mine and my partners style. It’s a nice resto but it’s that whole… casual-industrial style. Parking is bad.

It is her wedding, she (and her husband) should have what they want.

Food would be wonderful don’t get me wrong. But it’s a closed room at a restaurant and my partner and I are outdoorsy people. I never wanted a standard “hall” wedding.

Months ago my dad (parents are divorced) and I went to go see this barn and I fell in love before I knew the price.

Those types of barns can be extremely expensive.

It was completely unattainable and that’s ok; my in-laws offered to host in their backyard. Which for me is really great because:

1. Now the costs for the venue are just a tent and a portable washroom trailer (like a nice one). My in-laws have all the musical equipment we need as well as all the tables and chairs and dining accoutrement because my MIL is an event planner and has done weddings before.
2. When my partner was a kid, he spent all summer clearing out the backyard with his dad (they had just moved in and it was a mess) and so I think it’s kind of romantic that all his work led to this moment.

While considering mom’s desires is fine, the couple getting married have the final say.

The problems… my mom is completely against it.

She starts talking bad about my dad whenever it comes up, calling him cheap.

This is an easy fix. I’m sure the in-laws would love to have her over.

She also says stuff like “I’ve never been invited to their (in-laws) place so idk what it’s like” and I understand that. But we could all organize a time to go up and see it, plus I have drone photos.

Another issue: my mom’s mobility.

This can be an issue, but nothing that can’t be worked around.

Right now, she can’t walk more than a few steps. I have to wheel her in her walker to every doctors appt, family gathering, everything.

She had a kidney transplant and we are still dealing with that. My uncle also uses a walker but he’s much more mobile.

Mom is just making excuses now.

She made a comment about how my uncle won’t be able to get around the backyard to use the bathroom which simply can’t be true. I’ve seen him move around other family events?

And also, I would never try to make it difficult for him, and there’s no telling that the restaurant is any better. Especially since it would be full of people still.

Her mom really needs to back off.

My mom and I have argued about everything. It almost came to blows once. I just want to have my own wedding! Have a wedding my partner and I will love.

I do like to DIY and create and my MIL has been so supportive of that. She’s also pretty sure we can get food down to like $50 a person, which is really great.

Sadly, weddings can cause conflict in some families.

I guess I want to know if I’m in the wrong, but I also would love to hear from people who had major disagreements with their families about life stuff.

I think I have to do what I want but I never imagined my mother wouldn’t be involved in my wedding and this is really making me want to just elope lol.

Thanks all 💕

Mom is really making this difficult and she needs to remember that the wedding is not hers. Hopefully she can accept this.

Let’s see what the people in the comments suggest.

Addressing the mobility concerns is important.

Here is someone who says to just have the wedding she wants.

This commenter regrets giving in to her mother.

If mom is paying for the wedding, she does have some input to give.

This commenter thinks it is up to the bride.

Sorry Mom, this isn’t your wedding.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.