A soon-to-be husband has made it clear: his complicated history with his mother is his business alone.

Despite multiple gentle explanations, his fiancée keeps pressing about inviting her to the wedding, framing it as “for his own good.”

After the third time, he finally snapped, telling her to stop trying to play counselor in a relationship that has long been fractured.

AITA for telling my fiancee that my relationship with my mom is my own and to not play counselor

My fiancee and I have been together almost 3 years and are getting married in late December.

When I was 14 my mom had an affair. A year later, during which my parents claimed to be trying to work it out, kept me in the dark, during which my mom ended up continuing to go to the guy she was having an affair with, they finally ended up divorced.

The days that I had to spend with her, I’d just focus on studies and stay in my room, and minimize contact. She married the guy, and they have a daughter.

What a wild ride.

When I was in college, my dad started seeing someone and they married a few years ago too, and they have a daughter too.

Since I went to college, I’ve seen my mom on a handful of occasions, when my grandma passed away, when my grandpa passed away and events related to my younger sister, but other than that I haven’t spoken to her and avoided contact.

On her side she’s been relentless in trying to initiate contact, including standing outside my place a couple of times. I didn’t invite her to my graduation either. All this to say I don’t have a relationship with her at this point.

Clearly.

As we’ve been planning our wedding, when my dad asked if he wanted him to invite her if I wasnt comfortable, I’d said we wouldn’t be inviting her, she’s not a part of our life really, and my dad relented.

But my fiancee has brought it up 3 times now, trying to make it out in terms of it being for my own good.

Last night when she brought it up again, I just told her my relationship or lack of it with my mom is my own and she doesnt need to play counselor.

Fair.

I’d told her way earlier I wasnt on terms with my mom, so trying to have my family look whole for the wedding wasn’t ok.

She was hurt and I realized I might have used the wrong tone. She apologized and we made up in the moment.

Was I wrong to have snapped, though it was the third time she’d brought it up. Was I the AH?

The conversation left temporary hurt feelings but also clarified boundaries. And Reddit is on his side.

This person says to remain firm.

This person makes a good point.

And this person sympathizes hard.

Not every family drama needs a referee—sometimes, you just have to draw the line.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.