Finding time for friends while balancing a new marriage and busy careers can be tricky, but it’s still an important part of life.

One man thought being upfront about his plans would avoid conflict with his wife, yet somehow she was still left feeling like he didn’t prioritize her.

From then on, each outing left him feeling like he just couldn’t win.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for hanging out with my friends once a week instead of my wife?

I (23M) and my wife (24F) have been married for a little over a month now, and we don’t have the greatest work schedules as far as spending time together. And I know that.

Lately things have been incredibly hectic for this couple.

I’m still wrapping up the necessary schooling to get a better job so she doesn’t have to work at all (in my last few classes of my Master’s).

While I’m at school sometimes, she’s at work and doesn’t get home until 7:15-ish. Usually Thursdays.

But when they’re apart, it makes his wife anxious.

On those days, I like to hang out with my friends for a little while and play some games as I don’t get to see them much either.

Every time I tell her I am going to hang out with them, or go somewhere with them and do something with them, she gets really anxious and stressed.

He thinks it may have something to do with bad past experiences, but nothing he does to mitigate this seems to help.

And then she gets annoyed when I get home and says she wishes I wouldn’t have gone.

Admittedly, a main reason for this is because several of those times, I told her I was going to be home at X time and I ended up being later than that.

Valid. I could’ve texted. But even the couple times I have, she gets upset.

She seems to have very high standards for him.

A specific example is about two weeks ago, I told her a week before that I would be heading to this restaurant out of town with them and wanted to make sure that it was ok by her. She said yes, and then asked when I’d be home.

I told her about 8 but could be later. And she seemed fine with it.

Fast forward and she got mad at me because I was there 15 minutes after 8.

Now today, I told her at the beginning of this week that I would be with my friends today until 10-ish, and she’s mad at me.

He feels like he already does plenty to tend to her.

For reference, I spend every other waking moment with her. And I try my hardest to make sure she’s happy and taken care of and I tell her all the nice things, making sure she knows I love her, I’m not going anywhere, and that she’s my priority.

I make dinner most nights since I’m home first and I like cooking for her. I pay for groceries as often as possible.

And he feels entitled to spend some time with friends too.

I don’t know what else to do. I feel really bad, but at the same time, I really want to spend time with my friends.

And right now, I only spend maybe one day of maybe a couple hours with them, which is fine, but it inevitably results in her getting upset.

She’s a wonderful person, and I love her dearly.

AITA?

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He wants their marriage to work, but he also wants a little room to breathe.

What did Reddit make of all this?

There’s usually a societal expectation that newlyweds spend a lot of time together.

The best way to solve this problem is probably by talking directly to his wife.

Things may feel a little rough at first, but eventually these newlyweds will nail down a routine that works for both of them.

When you start keeping score in a relationship, that’s when everyone loses.

Overall, he’s done his best to be a good partner.

He feels guilty for upsetting her, but he can’t ignore the fact that he needs a life outside their marriage too.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.