It’s hard to find the line sometimes between taking care of family and taking care of yourself.

And stories like this, frankly, are kind of heartbreaking.

Aita for telling my wife I feel like a stranger in my own home since her mom moved in?

My wife and I have been married for eight years, we’ve always been a good team, communicative, supportive.

We had our routines our space and a quiet rhythm that made home feel like home

It all started simple enough.

Last year when her mom got sick I didn’t hesitate I said yes when she asked if she could move in It felt like the right thing.

Family steps up, I wanted to be that kind of partner

The plan was short term a few months to help her get back on her feet.

That was ten months ago

Now the home is a different place entirely.

Since then everything’s changed. Her mom slowly took over the spaces, she reorganized the kitchen and pantry without asking.

She comments on how I clean and how I cook, the living room is basically hers now with the TV blaring every night.

I’ve started spending most of my evenings in the bedroom just to get some peace

There’s no privacy she just walks into our room without knocking.

She joins our weekend plans without asking.

They’re not closer anymore. In any sense of the word.

Intimacy is gone. We haven’t had [intercourse] in months and we barely get time alone.

I brought it up gently and said we might need to set some boundaries.

My wife said it’s not forever and to be patient

But it’s been nearly a year and it doesn’t feel temporary anymore.

I feel like I’m being pushed out of my own life.

Like I don’t belong in the home we built together

But his concerns aren’t being taken well.

Last night I finally said something. I told her I love her but I feel like a stranger here.

Like we’re just roommates around her mom instead of a couple.

That I miss her and I miss us.

She got defensive and said I was being selfish and that her mom needs us.

Maybe that’s true

But what about what we need.

What about our marriage

And now the house is even less a home.

Now she’s cold. Her mom won’t speak to me.

The house feels heavier than it ever has.

And I’m stuck wondering if I messed everything up just by asking for space in the place I used to feel safe

AITA for saying her mom’s extended stay is slowly pushing me out of my own home?

Here’s what the comments made of this:

Turnabout is fair play?

It seems like she’s in too deep.

Sometimes cliches happen for a reason.

Some said you just gotta lay down the law.

This sort of thing is actually fairly common.

People put their own lives on hold indefinitely for family members and feel too guilty about it to stop, even when it’s past time.

Here’s hoping they can work it out.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.