Don’t you hate it when you try to do something nice and it really backfires?

For example, imagine planning something special to celebrate your partner’s birthday, but then you later find out they have other plans that day and somehow think you should’ve known.

The man in today’s story finds himself in a similar situation.

He was just trying to do something nice for his fiancée’s birthday, but now his future mother-in-law and fiancé are both mad at him.

Let’s read the whole story to find out why.

AITAH for setting boundaries with my Future Mother in Law?

So here’s how it started.

I bought Disneyland tickets for my fiancée back in June for October. It was for her birthday.

Come to find out, my fiancée’s mom wanted my fiancée to go with her to some wedding on the exact same dates as the Disney trip.

I had no knowledge of this wedding, and my fiancé didn’t even know her mom wanted her to come to the wedding until after I bought the Disney tickets.

His future mother-in-law was REALLY upset.

Her mom flipped out and got super mad at me. Accusing me of sabotaging things, accusing me of purposely messing her plans up and “stir things up.”

I apologized to her mother. I explained to her that I did not know anything about the wedding and I was simply trying to treat her daughter to a nice Birthday Disney vacation.

Come to find out, her mom was comparing me to my fiancée’s ex from several years ago who was extremely manipulative by saying I was just as bad as him for “messing plans up”.

He sent a text to his future MIL.

Once again, I reached out to my future mother-in-law to apologize to her.

The text I sent was “Good morning, thanks for understanding. I apologize for not knowing about the wedding date before booking. I promise I meant no ill intent. Like I said, I just wanted to do something for (my fiancee). She is someone that means a lot to me so I simply wanted to make her happy on her birthday. I will say, I don’t like being compared to (her ex). That unfortunate little man wishes he was half the person I am, and it’s someone (my fiancee) is trying to forget so we don’t like his name being brought up especially in comparison to me. I’d love to take you out to eat sometime. Let me know when you’re free to set it up.”

Now his fiancée is mad at him.

My fiancé is now upset with me because I seemed “arrogant” in the text message and didn’t consult with her before sending the message.

In her own words, her mom is not an understanding person so I should’ve just apologized without saying anything else.

I wanted to set that boundary that I don’t like being compared to her ex who was a terrible person, when all I did was buy Disney tickets for her birthday.

Now not only is my future mother-in-law upset, but my fiancée is upset with me for “being arrogant” and not considering her before sending that message.

AITAH?????

That part of the text about the ex wishing he were half the person  he is did sound arrogant, but otherwise, it sounds like he really was just trying to do something nice.

That said, he can probably switch the Disney tickets to another day so his fiancée can go to the wedding, and they can celebrate her birthday another day.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

This person doesn’t think he had any reason to apologize.

It’s a communication issue.

It’ll probably only get worse.

His fiancée is the one who should’ve handled the situation.

Another person thinks he needs to rethink marrying into his family.

His mother-in-law sounds like a nightmare.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.