Reconnecting with old friends can be wonderful, or confusing, or, yanno, bad.

But what can be arguably worse is that middle ground or not quite knowing HOW to reconnect.

Or if it’s even possible…

AITA For not reaching out to my friend while I’m in town visiting?

Preface: we have been bestfriends for over 15 years.. since high school.

I messaged her and all my other close friends one month in advance that I would be visiting on certain dates.

She said she was so excited.

I was too, considering I’m 7 months postpartum and was so excited for her to meet my daughter for the first time.

It was a warm welcome.

Mostly.

When I landed home, most of my friends had already messaged me saying “hey! How was the flight? How did your baby girl do on the plane? What would be a good day to see each other?”

But her? Radio silence.

Since I’ve had my baby, she has barely checked on me, hasn’t called or even FaceTimed me to see my daughter.

She has not reached out to me at all since I’ve been back home.

I asked my husband if I should message her, and he doesn’t think I should.

Mostly because she’s a repeat offender of doing and saying things that are pretty messed up.

Seems like we skipped a few details there, doesn’t it?

He doesn’t feel she’s a good friend to me.

I don’t either, but I’m having a hard time letting a friendship of over 15 years just die.

However, this would be the nail in the coffin for me.

I flew across the country with my husband and my 7 month old, and I just figured whoever really wanted to see me would reach out knowing I’d be here.

I believe she expects me to make all the plans and do all the heavy lifting.. which is a theme of our friendship to be honest.

I’m always reaching out, always extending an olive branch, always the one to do something wrong and need to apologize, always trying to keep the friendship alive.

At this point, I’m heartbroken and over it.

She’s not sure what the priority is.

I really don’t care to salvage, but some of my other friends think I should at least ask her what is her problem.

I know she’s [angry] I haven’t messaged her, but I already did the hard work of getting here. Idk.

I just want to leave it alone and move on from this relationship personally.

Or should I bite the bullet and message her? AITA?

Check out what the comments had to say:

There’s so much just being assumed here.

I pretty much NEVER remember stuff someone told me a month ago.

Maybe it’s simpler than you’re making it…

This whole thing just sounds like a headache.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.