When you have to work difficult hours, it can be hard to get together for family gatherings.

What would you do if you had to work on Thanksgiving, but your husband and family wouldn’t wait until you got out of work for family dinner?

That is what happened to the woman in this story, so she told her husband that if they can’t wait for her, she is not coming at all.

AITAH for standing up for myself with my husband about Thanksgiving dinner?

I (40f) have been with my husband (42m) for over twenty years and married for 15.

Has she been making her desires clear?

Through all of that time my husband has never made my wishes a priority to communicate in the planning process of Thanksgiving dinner…… let me elaborate.

I have worked in the restaurant/grocery industry for our ENTIRE relationship; so I’ve always been very easy going about not being invited or able to attend all the family gatherings and celebrations.

Working on holidays is annoying, but sometimes necessary.

I work long days and weekends and when the rest of the world is off for the holidays that is when I’m busiest at work.

I have asked my husband for several years (7+) to ask his family to consider my schedule when it comes to Thanksgiving dinner.

Having dinner just after 5 isn’t a huge ask.

I am off work by 4:30 and able to be at the gathering by 5-5:15. But instead my requests go unheard by my husband and his family.

So, this year I told him that I know planning Thanksgiving is going to start soon and again mentioned that I would like to be able to sit down to Thanksgiving dinner with my family and enjoy our meal together.

I can see how this would be painful.

As I typically have walked into a three times picked over, luke warm meal with not even a seat saved for my at the table.

I told my husband that I would like nothing more than to spend that time together with him, our kids and his family; however, if I was going to walk into the same situation as years past, that isn’t a table I need or want to be at and I would simply not attend.

Is he even taking the request seriously?

This clearly upset my husband bit all he would say is “Okay”, so AITAH for wanting to feel welcome and wanted at the table for Thanksgiving?

AITA?

Sometimes plans can’t be adjusted, but it doesn’t even sound like he is making an attempt, which is not cool.

Read on to see what some of the people in the comments have to say about this.

They should be more accommodating.

I agree with this commenter 100%.

Yeah, waiting to 5:30 is no big deal.

Them asking her to bring something is over the line.

Yup, this is not going to change.

They didn’t even save her a plate?

That’s really inexcusable.