It’s hard enough these days to keep up with immediate family members because everyone is so busy, so you can only imagine how a teenager would react when their dad let him know that he wants him to have a close relationship with his extended family.

Yeah, that’s a tough one…

And he took to TikTok to share his thoughts.

Read on and find out what happened.

AITA for caring more about my relationship with my extended family than my stepfamily and not trying to make us all one family?

“I’m (18m) part of a stepfamily and there are some issues that never got resolved and now that I’m 18 and moved out of my dad’s house the tension is worse than ever and I’m getting **** for it.

My mom passed away when I was 5 and my sister was 4. My dad met his wife at a support group for widows a year after my mom passed. They were friends for two years and then they started dating and married within a year.

My dad’s wife had three kids with her first husband. Me and my sister were 8 and 7 when dad remarried. Our step siblings were 5, 4 and 3.

She’s been through a lot…

My dad’s wife had a complicated relationship with her husband before his passing. He actually walked out on her before he passed away and left her and their kids. She was pregnant with the youngest at the time too.

His family wasn’t around once he left and even when he passed away they never had anything more to do with her kids. And she lost her mom a few months after her first husband. This meant her kids just had her and no other family.

My dad was never super close to his family but they adored me and my sister. Mom was super close to her family and me and my sister are as well. We loved spending time with them and they made an effort to show up at as much stuff as they could.

Things are a bit complicated…

When my dad and his wife got married things didn’t go like they wanted. My dad’s family didn’t treat my step siblings badly but they loved me and my sister more and my dad and his wife saw it.

They ended up putting some distance between us and dad’s family so my step siblings wouldn’t feel left out. But they also had a hard time with us having a relationship with mom’s side of the family when they weren’t open to including my step siblings in at least some stuff.

Me and my sister didn’t care. We weren’t super protective or close to our step siblings so it wasn’t like we were devastated when they weren’t included. I really didn’t give it any thought back then.

His dad isn’t happy about this.

My dad and his wife wanted to make it a rule that if my mom’s family didn’t include my step siblings in 1 in 4 visits then they didn’t get to see us. But my dad had a lawyer and he told dad that our mom’s family would get visitation with us because the law would be on their side since our mom died.

We were in family therapy at the time too and the therapist warned dad that we could end up disliking him and resenting his wife and our step siblings if he denied us access to family we were close to when we weren’t fully blended.

It is what it is…

So we still got to see our extended family a good amount. Our closeness with them never changed. But we also never got too close to our step siblings. I don’t dislike them. But I wouldn’t say I want to be there for them like I want to be there for my sister. And if I was asked to choose between the stepfamily and my extended family my extended family would win.

My relationship with my dad got difficult when I got older. He and his wife wanted me and my sister to try and include our step siblings in stuff with our extended family. They wanted us to want the family unit to be put first. But we didn’t see us as a family unit.

We always saw it as a stepfamily and not a like we’re all just family no step kind of stepfamily. But a stepfamily where we had one parent in the house and we had steps involved who weren’t our mom or siblings.

These people obviously can’t take a hint…

My dad and his wife ended up resenting me and my sister for it. My step siblings did too. They’d ask if they could come and that was always awkward. They’d get upset we had family who wanted to do stuff with us but they didn’t.

There ended up being a talk with me and the adults before I turned 18 about how as the oldest I should have shown I cared more about the stepfamily than my extended family and how I had a duty to bring us all together as siblings and “not this step bull ****.”

My dad’s wife asked me which relationships I cared about more and I told her without any hesitation that I cared more about my relationship with my extended family.

Of course they didn’t like it and things were tense until I turned 18 and went to stay with some other family. But there is still a lot of anger about how I feel and about the fact I didn’t feel bad for having family when my step siblings didn’t and never trying to change that for them.

AITA?”

Let’s see what people had to say on Reddit.

This person said he’s NTA.

Another reader agreed.

This Reddit user had a lot to say.

And another individual weighed in.

You can’t force people to be close to family members.

It only makes things worse!

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.