In an ideal world, all parents would be loving and care for their children, being there for them from the moment they were born until their dying days.

However, sadly that is not the reality for many, as all too many people grow up with the emotional baggage of having parents who did not care for them properly.

And for the children in this story, things got so bad that they’re now refusing to see their dad at all.

Read on to find out how this is being blamed on the oldest brother.

AITA for “taking over” when it came to my siblings?

I am a 30-year-old man, and am much older than my three younger siblings.

My parents were teens when they had me. Then when I was twelve, they had my first brother. Within the next three years, they had two more kids.

My mom went through what I believe was postpartum depression after my first brother was born. She wouldn’t really leave the room, barely took care of the kids.

I ended up stepping up young and taking care of them, as our dad was barely ever home.

Read on to find out why all the responsibility fell on him.

My dad got off work at a reasonable time, but would hit up the bars or go out with friends. I suspect there were some affairs sprinkled in there.

My parents always treated this as normal. When I was fifteen and my baby sister was born, my mom had some complications and passed away within a few weeks following her birth.

From there, I took on even more responsibility.

I managed to convince my dad to put the kids in daycare at the very least as I had to go to school, but I was the one bringing them there, picking them up and taking care of them.

And this continued even after he was old enough to leave home.

Even after I turned eighteen, I went to college locally so I could stay close to home and take care of the kids.

My dad would leave me money, but would often disappear for days to weeks at a time. I was raising my younger siblings. Somehow, I met someone who was willing to put up with all of this, and my girlfriend began helping me.

When my siblings were seven, six, and four, my dad actually tried getting sober, being around more, etc, and I was supportive of this.

However, my brothers and sister didn’t trust him. They barely knew him as he wasn’t around. All they wanted was me.

Let’s see how this affected the father.

I tried to encourage them to go to our dad with stuff, but they always went to me. I didn’t want them to feel abandoned, so I would do what they asked.

Dad got annoyed and went back to his old ways.

This happened two more times, but the process was always the same. Kids didn’t trust him, they kept coming to me, and eventually, I stopped telling them to go to our dad.

Dad would start drinking again and start being gone often.

Then, things suddenly changed.

When I was 25, I married my wife and we moved into our house. I was hesitant to leave my siblings and tried to be around as much as possible for them. They ended up spending a lot of time with us at our place.

Three years ago, they came for spring break and then after that, just never went home. My dad eventually signed custody over.

My siblings are now eighteen, seventeen, and fifteen.

My dad is sober again and I’ve left it up to the kids on if they want to see him. The eighteen year old does, but the seventeen and fifteen year olds do not.

And now, it’s being turned on him.

My dad is irritated yet again and said that it is my fault the younger two refuse to see him. He claims I should’ve backed off completely when they were younger.

I told him that it’s a lame excuse and that he could’ve tried harder, refused to let me take over, and he most importantly, could’ve made them come back home three years ago.

My dad is insistent that I am the problem here. My wife is on my side. The kids are as well, even the eighteen year old. But a lot of our extended family agree that I am the problem.

AITA?

This completely helpless son stepped up to care for these kids when no one else would.

If he hadn’t done so, they probably would’ve been taken into care, since their dad repeatedly abandoned them.

They are lucky to have their older brother, while the dad is lucky to have his eldest son.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person agreed that the dad was the one in the wrong here,

While others praised the brother for everything he’s done for his siblings.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged him to ignore the wider family, and take care of himself.

It’s no wonder that the teens don’t want to see their father, after everything that he put them and their elder brother through.

His behavior was totally dysfunctional, and likely led to a lot of emotional turmoil for all of them.

It’s understandable that they wouldn’t want anything to do with him any more.

He only has himself to blame.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.