One cautious college student found herself in the role of the responsible roommate when her friend decided to host a Halloween party—despite their lease explicitly banning loud gatherings.

After saying no to protect their housing, she’s now wondering if she killed the vibe…or just saved them from eviction.

Read on for the story.

AITA for telling my roommate she can’t have a party at our house?

I (19F) am currently living with two other people, Tina (19F), and Ellie (19F), all of us are in university. We were all friends freshman year and decided to live together now for our sophomore year. We were fortunate enough to find a really nice place to live.

It’s super spacious, in a quiet + safe neighborhood, and has amazing views. When we signed the lease, it was VERY clear we were not supposed to have large, loud gatherings.

This is because tenants here before us threw a bunch of parties that really disrupted the neighborhood, especially the neighbors we share a wall with.

Now a couple days ago, Tina told me that she and Ellie were planning on throwing a halloween party at our place. I was somewhat hesitant from the start, but didn’t really say anything about it when it was first mentioned.

Oh boy.

After thinking about it more, I decided to bring up last night that she needs to be the one to talk to our neighbors about throwing a party.

I also expressed I was generally uncomfortable with the party, to which she replied that it’ll be fine because “the cops don’t reply to noise complaints until after midnight.”

After that she kinda cut the conversation off, but it continued to really bother me, as I felt somewhat brushed off.

Eek.

The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable with having a party here I got. So today, I went over to Tina and basically told her that if she doesn’t have the express go-ahead of our neighbors, she’s not throwing a party at our place.

She basically went quiet and kinda stony, and when I asked if she was mad with me, she replied that she was just bummed because “this was the only thing she was looking forward to.”

(for context Tina has not really been enjoying her time at our university this year and is actually planning on transferring).

After that interaction I called my dad and talked about it, as the situation was really stressing me out.

As it should.

He was vehemently against the idea of a party (not because of alcohol, but because of the lease).

He pointed out that even if we get our next-door-neighbors approval, someone else on our street could still call in a noise complaint. If the cops were to come, that could be a big issue since we’re all under the drinking age.

He suggested talking to Tina’s parents about this, as another important detail is our rent is all paid for by each of our parents, they’re on the lease.

Now there’s an idea…

I told him no unless they really aren’t listening to me.

My conversation with him made me even more against the idea of hosting a party, so Im considering just saying Im not comfortable with any of it.

If we were in a neighborhood with lots of college students throwing parties, Id have no issue with it. But we’re the only college students on an incredibly quiet street, with only old people and families for neighbors.

Truth.

This isn’t about me not liking parties, this is about me being afraid of putting our living situation in jeopardy.

So, AITA for telling my roommate she can’t have a party at our house?

Reddit sided firmly with NTA, calling her the “only adult in the room.”

This person says she is being unfairly guilt-trippedover something that could jeopardize all their housing.

This person suggests she loop in parents or the landlord before things spiral.

And this person says no doubt things WILL get out of hand and OP is doing the right thing.

When one roommate wants to party and the other wants to keep the roof over their heads, only one’s thinking clearly—and it’s not the one planning the playlist.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.