While death really is a part of life, it can also feel like the most awful, soul-crushing, heart-wrenching thing that a person can face.

And for the woman in this story, grief came to her life early, as she lost her big sister when she was just a young child.

Though she has held her in her memory all these years, of course there is still a part of her who is grieving the loss of her big sister.

So when she found out the photo on her sister’s grave was cracked, of course she wanted to get it repaired.

Read on to find out why her mother stood in her way.

WIBTA if I repaired my sister’s grave behind my Mum’s back?

I am a 40-year-old woman, and when I was six, my big sister passed away suddenly at seven-and-a-half-years-old.

She was buried in a cemetery that would later be made heritage listed and so only family members of those already buried there can consequently be buried there as well. My Nana and Poppy and also buried there.

I used to visit my sister often, then I moved interstate and only visited her once a year.

After having kids I didn’t get to visit for a long time, but now the kids are older I want to start visiting her again when I can.

And she wanted to make the grave as special as can be.

For as long as I can remember, my sister’s photo on her grave has been cracked.

Four years ago, my dad passed away and my mum had him cremated. We talked about putting a marker next to my sister on the first anniversary of his death, but it never happened.

So this year I decided I would research how to get a marker placed and my sister’s photo fixed.

This is no easy task as the cemetery is privately owned and I was calling numbers, leaving messages, sending emails and getting nowhere.

But then, she made some headway.

Finally I had the bright idea to call my aunt, because she and my other aunt had organised my Nana’s funeral some years back.

She said that herself and my uncle would go to the church and try to work it all out.

However, when I mentioned fixing my sisters photo my aunt went silent for a sec.

She told me my sister’s photo has been cracked since a year after her burial.

And that’s where things got more complicated.

Apparently my aunt asked my mum if she want the photo fixed, my mum didn’t know it was broken because she has not returned to the grave since the funeral. It’s just too hard for her to return.

My mum is atheist and she has said to me before that she never wants to go there, because my sister is not there and mum holds her in her memories.

I feel a connection when I visit my sisters grave, I totally understand why my mum doesn’t go though.

But then, when my aunt said we should fix it, my mum said no, leave it alone.

So the woman decided to take action.

So now for the ******* bit. I really want my sister photo fixed, it looks terrible.

My mum never visits her grave but I do, and my aunt and my uncle do. We all want her photo fixed. My big sister was my best friend, I love her so much.

I’ve had some friends say to just do it and don’t tell my mum, I’ve others say that my mum overrides me because it’s her daughter and I’m just her sister.

I’m really torn, as my Mum seems to have strong feelings about it. Would I be wrong if I just fixed my sister’s grave without my Mum’s permission or blessing, because I visit and she never does?

AITA?

This is a really sad situation – and it’s even more sad that this woman trying to honor her sister’s memory is dividing the family.

Sure their mom doesn’t believe that her daughter is in the grave, but some of the rest of the family do, and for them the fact that the grave has fallen into disrepair seems sad and disrespectful to the memory of the little girl.

It sounds like mom needs to explain why she doesn’t want the picture fixed, rather than just putting her foot down.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person thought she should just get the grave fixed.

While others encouraged her too – but with caution.

However, others warned that doing so could land her in hot water.

Anything around grief can be really difficult to navigate, and there are two women here – one who lost a daughter, the other who lost a sister and best friend – who are undoubtedly still dealing with the trauma.

What they’ve been through is awful, and if they are going to be able to work through this, they need to be able to communicate.

Perhaps the most important line of communication to open up is about this, so that they can finally understand one another’s point of view. Only then will they get real peace of mind, and hopefully the little girl’s memory can be respected.

They’re both clearly struggling.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.