Friendships need intention and trust to flourish.

This man felt his relationship with his best friend start to fade when she befriended people he didn’t like. Now that she’s getting married, he said no to being her Man of Honor.

Is it really friendship over? Read below for the full story.

AITA for turning down being in my old best friend’s wedding?

A friend I’ve had since high school and I (30M) have drifted over the past few years. She started spending a lot of time with a new group of friends, people I had some bad blood with and am not comfortable around.

She knew that, and even though I told her it made me uncomfortable, she still got close with them. They play on a team together, travel, hang out, that kind of thing.

I told her how I felt, not giving an ultimatum or anything, but she kind of brushed it off.

That’s when our friendship started to fade. I was upset at first, but eventually accepted it and moved on, knowing our friendship had changed.

We’re older now, have different interests, it happens.

This man said no to being his best friend’s Man of Honor.

She recently texted me that she got engaged while on a trip with those friends, and about a week later, she asked if I wanted to be her “Man of Honor.”

It came as a surprise, since we hadn’t seen or talked in at least five months.

I told her it really meant a lot, but I didn’t think I was the right person for that anymore and wouldn’t be comfortable. I honestly thought she’d understand.

She got upset, said it was hurtful, asked if I even wanted to come to the wedding (I said yes, of course), and called me cruel for saying no.

I apologized for catching her off guard and told her I wasn’t trying to hurt her, just being honest.

The conversation got heated.

The conversation kept escalating.

Eventually, I told her that my best friend wouldn’t have gone out of their way to befriend people who hurt me.

I said I’ve felt like we hadn’t been close for a while, and that I was sorry it took her this long to notice.

I didn’t mean to start a fight. I just didn’t want to agree to something I didn’t feel good about.

Now I’m not sure where we stand. I was fine just being friends, not best friends.

She needs to learn that choices come with consequences.

Here are other people’s thoughts on the story.

This one shares a similar experience.

This person has something to say.

A valid point.

Another user jumps to his defense.

And people are taking his side.

No respect for his feelings? No Man of Honor.

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