If you were divorced with kids and your ex was remarried, would you let your kids stay at your ex’s house when only the stepparent was home?

In this story, one dad isn’t sure how to answer this question. He wants say go with “no,” but he’s not sure that’s the right thing to do.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITAH for not allowing my kids to spend 3-4 nights every other week with just their stepdad?

My ex (32f) and I (33m) are the parents of a 9 and 7 year old. We divorced almost 6 years ago when she left me for her current husband (44m).

They did break up later for over a year if not two and then got back together and married three years ago. So he has been in the lives of my children for a significant part when all is said and done.

My ex and I always shared 50-50 or 7 days/7 days custody of our kids.

He really hates the stepdad.

Full disclosure? I hate that she married him and that he’s their stepdad.

There’s just something sickening about it to me, more because he knew she was married than because he was her affair partner.

I’m civil with them for the sake of my kids.

I would never put pressure on my kids to dislike him on my behalf. I would never alienate the kids or put them in the middle. Just like I would never say anything bad about their mom or bring our issues up around them.

He really doesn’t like his ex either.

The woman messed me up when she left me like she did but our kids do love her so I have learned to tolerate dealing with her.

This is me expressing my feelings regarding them because it may or may not help with the judgement of me.

Currently there is an argument between my ex and me.

His ex isn’t home all that often right now.

She has two parents in failing health. She and her siblings are diving the weeks up between them so they are each staying 3-4 nights with them when their time comes back around.

This means she is not home during some of her parenting time.

Because of this she had to ask me if I wanted the kids those days or whether they could stay with her husband.

I told her I wanted the time with them.

The law is on his side.

My ex and her husband don’t like my decision on this because they feel it interrupts the schedule, treats her husband like he’s not capable of parenting and denies him and the kids the chance to build a true parent-child bond.

My attorney tells me I am within my rights and my ex’s attorney told her the same.

She was told it’s in our parenting plan that if one of us is unavailable for more than a certain period of time during parenting time then it must be offered to the other biological and legal parent.

So this isn’t a legal question for me. But a moral one of whether I’m TA or not.

He doesn’t want to ask his kids what they would prefer.

I haven’t asked my kids if they’d rather stay with him.

I know from complaints from my ex once or twice that the kids aren’t as close to their stepdad as their mom and stepdad would like but I can’t say 100% what they would answer.

I don’t really think it’s wise to bring them into the middle of discussions like this. I just feel like it’s a slippery slope and I have always communicated directly with my ex about any issues so the kids aren’t dealing with adult fights or disagreements.

With all that being said AITAH for not allowing the kids to stay with their stepdad when their mom isn’t there on those nights she’s staying with her parents?

The law is on his side, and he doesn’t like the stepdad. The answer seems obvious. The kids can stay with him, and he shouldn’t feel guilty about it.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person thinks having the kids stay with him is what makes the most sense.

Another person thinks it’s common sense that the kids would stay with him.

Here’s another vote for not involving the kids in the decision.

It really doesn’t matter if the stepdad wants to spend time with them or not.

This is a good point!

I’m sure his kids would choose to stay with him anyway.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.