It’s funny how something as innocent as a Halloween costume can turn into a full-blown family issue.

What would you do if your stepdaughters wanted you to dress up with them for Halloween, but their mom called to say the idea was “inappropriate” and accused you of crossing a line?

Would you drop out to respect her wishes? Or would you stand by the promise you already made?

In the following story, one stepmom finds herself facing this very decision and is unsure what to do.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for doing a group Halloween Costume with my Stepdaughters that their Mother doesn’t approve of?

I (35F) am the Stepmother to two lovely ten-year-old twin girls, whom I adore. I have been married to their father (38M) for five years, and we dated for two years before that.

I consider myself very close to them, and we always have fun whenever they stay with me and their father.

They recently asked what kinds of movies I watched when I was their age, so it led to me digging out some old classics, most notably: The Parent Trap.

Of all the older movies I showed them this one was their favourite I think they got a kick out of seeing a movie about twins.

They even delighted in the fact that, in their opinion, I look like Meredith Blake (it’s the hair, I think, no way am I as gorgeous as Elaine Hendrix).

It all started with an innocent question.

It has become an inside joke, with me often putting on her voice and acting the part while they fall into hysterical giggles.

My husband has even gotten into it and plays the clueless Nick when we get into this playful spirit.

The girls are staying with us for Halloween, they alternate who has them on holidays and whoever has them for Halloween is in charge of the costume.

The girls asked if I would do a group costume with them I was touched and told them of course, and asked them what they wanted to do.

Then, she received a call from the girls’ mother.

I should have seen it coming. They wanted to do the Parent Trap, with them as the girls and me as Meredith. I found it harmless and agreed. My husband found it funny and said he’d even dress as Nick then.

I got a call from their Mother today telling me she’d heard of the costume and didn’t approve because she felt it wasn’t appropriate.

At first, I was touched and assumed she worried about their stepmother being portrayed as a wicked gold digger. I told her it was fine; it was just an inside joke that had occurred, which had sparked this.

She was upset, but trying to stay calm.

That wasn’t the issue.

She didn’t think it was appropriate for me to do a group costume with her daughters at all. She said it was clearly lazy, and I was forcing it, as why else would her daughters want to do a costume from an old movie?

I got rather upset here but tried to stay calm on the phone, and I told her she might not approve, but it was harmless, and I’d been in the girl’s life for 7 years at this point.

Her husband took the phone and handled his ex.

My husband, who was in the room during the call, could see I was getting upset, so he took the phone from me and began to get into it with his ex-wife. Telling her that she could have all the issues she wanted, but it was an entirely proper costume for their age, and it had been the girls who suggested it.

He also reminded her that it was up to him what they dressed as this year, and he’d approved of it. I got him to calm down as he was getting upset, and the call ended rather tersely.

I just feel awful about this whole thing and I wonder if I should just bow out of matching the girls in costume if it will prevent further problems. I just know this will be a bigger thing down the line.

AITA?

Wow! It sounds like someone has jealousy issues!

Let’s check out how the folks over at Reddit feel about this whole thing.

This person thinks it should be up to the father.

Here’a good point.

This is one way of looking at it.

According to this person, the girls are lucky to have her.

She should do it! The mother is just in her feelings and needs to get over it.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.