It’s hard to respect someone’s authority when you never agreed they should have any in the first place.

So, what would you do if your parent started letting their new partner make decisions about your life, even though they don’t live together and you barely know her?

Would you avoid confronting them about it? Or would you speak up and let them know it makes you uncomfortable?

In the following story, one teen finds herself in this exact situation and opts for the latter. Here’s how it went down.

AITA for calling my dad’s girlfriend some random woman when we were arguing over him giving her a say in my life when they don’t even live together?

My mom died 5 years ago, and for the last two years, my dad has been dating Ruth.

She doesn’t live with us, and I (17) haven’t really spent a lot of time with her. Mostly, she and my dad go on dates, or she’ll come over while I’m spending the night at a friend’s house or my grandparents’ house.

I know my dad cares about Ruth a lot, and I don’t have an issue with their relationship, but recently, I’ve been frustrated by my dad’s willingness to give Ruth a say, like parental style, in my life.

This was the first time it happened.

The first time it happened was when I asked my dad if I could spend a weekend with my best friend’s family at their cabin.

Dad told me he needed to think about it, and weeks after I’d been gone, he mentioned that Ruth had been against it and that they only agreed for me to go as long as I called Dad at least three times while I was gone.

In my head, I was like, “Why is Ruth getting a say?” I asked him what Ruth had to do with anything, but he ignored me.

He did the same thing when she wanted to go on a holiday trip with her BFF’s family.

Then I wanted permission to stay on my own while Dad was out of town for a few days. Dad involved Ruth in that, too. Because she didn’t like the idea of someone under 18 staying home alone, he said I had to choose a family member to stay with.

Those came up in our fight, but it wasn’t what the fight was about. My best friend’s family invited me to an out-of-state Christmas market with them in December.

I asked Dad if I could go. It’s going to be an all-day thing, leaving early and getting home late.

My dad told me he needed to talk to Ruth, and I asked him why, and he asked what I meant, and he said he didn’t like me questioning his decision to involve Ruth. I told him Ruth’s not my parent, so why should she get a choice in this?

Fed up, she turned it around on him.

He told me Ruth’s his partner, and I told him I didn’t care because she should not have any influence over me. She doesn’t live here, they’re not married, she’s not my parent.

During the fight, I told him I don’t want some random woman having a say in my life like that. My dad told me she’s not some random woman and how dare I minimize and dismiss her like that. He told me she’s entitled to have a say if he says so and I’m being a brat about her involvement.

I told him that if he ever needs me to step in and care for him, he should be just fine with me finding a new boyfriend and giving him a say in his care. Dad did not like that one bit.

Her dad got very upset and didn’t like the idea.

He told me it was petty and dangerous to give someone I hardly know a say in potentially critical care if he’s impaired in any way in his later years.

I told him he might not be comfortable with it, but if he can do it to me, then I can do it to him. I told Dad I should let this future boyfriend decide where he gets sent in that situation.

Dad ended up really mad at me, and he vented to my aunt (his sister), and she took my side.

Now, Ruth and her father are both upset with her.

He wasn’t happy about that, and he brought up the part where I called his girlfriend a random woman. Aunt was still on my side.

So Dad sort of told her where to go, and he went to fight me and asked if I had apologized to Ruth yet. I said no, and I said I wasn’t going to.

Ruth’s mad as well and has a big issue with my viewing her as just some random woman who should have no say in my life, but I stand by that view of her.

AITA?

Wow! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but maybe her father should push for her and Ruth to have a better relationship first.

Let’s check out what advice the readers over at Reddit can offer her.

This person gets it.

For this reader, the dad’s actions are gross.

Here’s someone who sees why she said that.

As this comment explains, the dad is treading on thin ice.

She’s definitely not wrong. Considering they’ve been together that long and she doesn’t know her, that’s just crazy!

If you liked that post, check out this post about a woman who tracked down a contractor who tried to vanish without a trace.