Have you ever put a lot of time and effort into choosing the perfect gift for someone, but when they see the gift you can tell they don’t like it?

That’s what happened to the woman in this story, and now, she doesn’t want to go through that again.

Is she wrong for how she responded when her boyfriend admitted he didn’t like her gift?

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for saying future gifts might be in cash, after my BF doesn’t like my surprise gift, even after I told him I’d exchange it?

My partner T (early50s M) and I (mid40s F) are 2 years in, we’re engaged but don’t live together yet.

I was laid off several months ago. I was prepared to sell my house.

T was awesome: cleared out stuff for me to move in with him, listened while I spiralled, held me while I cried.

Three months later I have a better job with a better salary. So so lucky.

She wanted to get him a thoughtful thank you gift.

To thank him for supporting me during my brief unemployment scare, I bought him a bicycle.

We’re outdoorsy, he’s used my road & mountain bikes and mentioned repeatedly wanting to save up for an upgrade.

So, I bought a hybrid bike at REI Thurs night, and brought it over Fri night to surprise him. I got a hybrid because they’re kind of in-between road & mountain.

His reaction wasn’t exactly what she expected.

He was stunned (sad?) when he saw it.

I immediately told him “If it’s not what you want, I can exchange it, or we can have a date at REI, and we’ll exchange it for one you love! We have a year!”

I truly meant it.

He was quiet.

It didn’t get better when he tried out the bike.

Saturday, we went for a ride, and I can tell he’s not happy.

I’m really trying (too hard?) to cheer him up: “Switch bikes with me! Do you like riding my mountain bike more?? I can just exchange it for this one, no problem!!”.

Him: “… Sure”.

Later, I opened the REI app and asked him if he wanted to choose a mountain bike, and he snapped “I really can’t do this right now.”

He admitted the obvious.

Sunday night, he finally confesses what I already knew: He doesn’t like the bike.

His words: “it’s too girly/small”, “I don’t have space for it (but he does for his old one?)”, “you lied to me about where you were Thursday” (in order to surprise him!!), “I’m overwhelmed with the young un’s college tours and my job, I don’t have the time to research a bike right now and you’re pressuring me”.

Here’s how she responded…

I was a little bit crushed, I felt like my gift was an inconvenience.

So I respond with: “Ok, I’ll return it. But not gon’ lie, I think I’m gonna stick to giving you cash gifts from here on out”.

That seemed to hurt him.

He’s fully allowed to exchange his gift, I just thought he’d at least appreciate the gesture!

So, AITA for saying future gifts might be in cash?

Cash gifts sound reasonable. There’s no point in setting yourself up for failure…again.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say about this story.

This might be a red flag.

It probably would’ve been better to get a less expensive gift.

Maybe next time the gift shouldn’t be a surprise.

Her words were a little harsh.

It’s hard to want to give a gift when it’s not appreciated.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.