Caring for an aging parent is an honorable duty, but sometimes it comes at too high a cost.

One woman’s aging mother with disabilities wants to move in, but she can’t help but remember how toxic their relationship has always been.

She begins to suspect that what feels like the “right thing” to do might destroy the life she’s built.

Read on for the full story.

AITA, Mother wants to move in

My mother wants to move in with my husband and me. We are both 28.

Her mom has some major flaws.

My mom has helped us out when we struggled, and I know she loves me — but she is extremely narcissistic.

She makes everything about her, can’t take criticism, and says the meanest things when she gets her feelings hurt (which happens a lot).

We had planned to buy a house and move her in, but I stayed with her for a week and we got into a huge fight.

Suddenly, all the bad memories came flooding back.

That’s when I realized — I can’t live with her again.

I was miserable as a kid, and it’s bringing up all the past trauma.

My dad passed away in 2020, and my mom is disabled, living with my grandma currently, who is getting quite old (late 80s).

That doesn’t stop her from feeling guilty.

My mom doesn’t have a lot of money and has a lot of health issues, so this is where I feel guilty. My husband says she manipulates me and makes me feel like it’s my fault.

It puts her in a terrible position.

She’s extremely mad now that I’ve told her I don’t think we can live together and says I’m a terrible daughter who doesn’t love her.

I’m torn between feeling like a terrible person who’s leaving her to fend for herself — and knowing that she’s narcissistic and that living with her would be bad for my marriage and mental health.

AITA??

Sometimes the best thing you can do is draw a hard line.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter thinks she’s wise to not sacrifice her mental health.

Letting her mom move in with them could only lead to terrible things.

Her mom needs to realize that it isn’t her daughter’s responsibility to care for her.

Being a caregiver isn’t a responsibility anyone should take lightly.

She’s done trying to fix a relationship that only breaks her.

Guilt fades, but the damage from living with a narcissist lasts forever.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.