When one bride-to-be decided she didn’t want her father’s wife at her wedding, it wasn’t out of spite, it was self-preservation.

After years of polite messages ignored, awkward visits, and not even a “congratulations” after her engagement, she’d had enough.

But when her dad said he wouldn’t come without his wife, her choice sparked a family rift she didn’t see coming.

AITA for not inviting my fathers wife to my wedding?

So for context, my father met and married his wife in 2019. Back then, I still lived with them and I tried really hard to get along with her.

Like, we used to be fond of each other for like the first year of them being together in contrary to my brother whom she really hates because he uses every opportunity to provoke her (he’s 23 btw) and I told him like a thousand times to just leave it be.

Eventually, she stopped talking to me and didn’t care for me anymore.

Ouch.

I didn’t understand why but I also couldn’t really bother to dig any deeper because I moved out soon after (in 2021) anyway.

In this timeline, we visited them a couple of times (they live 7 hours away) and never does she even greet me.

She’s Orthodox and I always took the time to wish her a Merry Christmas and Easter and wrote her on her Birthdays. She never does any of that.

She doesn’t sound like the cheeriest of beings.

My fiancé proposed to me this year and I FaceTimed my father and told him. Mind you, his wife was in the same room and she didn’t even congratulate us!!

I talked to my father about this and he said that because of the language barrier (she’s from Ukraine but has been living in Germany for around 8 years) and her stubbornness she’s unable to understand.

And I was like, yes, but why did it work before she suddenly decided that she didn’t like me then?

That IS the question, isn’t it?

Anyway, we are planning to get married next year and we were originally going for a wedding without kids. I told my father and he said that if my little brother (5yo) can’t come then he won’t come as well.

I was like, okay, fair, we’re allowing kids for closest family then because I can’t just not invite my father.

A few days ago, he was talking to me about airbnbs and turns out, he was assuming that his wife could come.

Bold assumption.

I carefully told him that we weren’t going to invite her because I don’t like her and I don’t want her at my wedding because she makes me feel uncomfortable.

My father didn’t react very well and he replied that she is his wife and therefore should be allowed to come and he won’t be coming if she can’t come. I told him that he’s not coming then and we hung up and didn’t talk since that.

Honestly, I don’t know what to take from all of that. AITA for not inviting her?

This person says this is NOT okay on her dad’s part.

Most Redditors agreed she wasn’t wrong for drawing a boundary, especially after years of being met with silence and indifference. When it comes to weddings, you can’t always RSVP to respect—and sometimes, even family ties don’t make the guest list.

This person says OP tried, and that’s all she could’ve done.

This person is simply appalled.

When it comes to weddings, you can’t always RSVP to respect—and sometimes, even family ties don’t make the guest list.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.