Some things you can forgive in a relationship, but finding out your partner is still in love with their ex isn’t one of them.

So, what would you do if you caught your boyfriend sending romantic messages to someone he claimed to be over years ago?

Would you confront him again and hope he changes? Or would you finally decide you’ve had enough of the lies?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this dilemma with her partner.

Here’s what happened.

AITAH for breaking up with my partner after seeing messages of him professing his love to an ex

I (45F) have been with my partner (45M) for about 2.5 years. We have known each other for more than 10 years and have been living together for 2,5 years.

I should have heeded the first red flag when he told me he still keeps in contact with exes. That is a big No for me, because why the need for contact with exes?

I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and we moved in together in 2023. There has been one ex he seems not to get over, regardless of having broken up for over 12-ish years. I confronted him last year when I saw a text he sent her asking her to give him the blessing to let go of her.

She found that he had been sending the same sort of messages again.

He did the whole gaslighting, love bombing, etc., that you expect from a narcissist, and we moved on.

This brings me to this past weekend, when I saw texts he sent her professing his love for her and her for him, that she is his always and forever, etc.

I confronted him again and told him I was done. I don’t believe in that “you can love two people at once” ********.

They aren’t really on speaking terms.

I took a screenshot of the text exchange because I wanted to show his parents. They really like me and don’t want me to leave him because I have been good to him. We literally just moved into our third, much bigger rental. He started a better job, and I just accepted a position with a better salary as well.

It is his birthday today, and I did not wish him because he texted his ex two weeks before my birthday, and he felt no remorse while they reminisced on their past together.

If he thought that little of me then, why is it wrong if I reciprocate the same energy? I told him I would give him until the end of this month to get his stuff in order, but we haven’t spoken much about that in the past two days.

AITA?

Wow! This does not sound like a good situation for her.

Let’s check out how the Reddit folks feel about how she’s handling it.

For this person, it’s okay to be friends with an ex.

This reader has some strong thoughts.

Such a good point.

According to this comment, he should’ve been kicked out.

She’s handling this well. He’s lucky she sounds like a mature adult, because other women wouldn’t be this calm about it.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.