A tired husband says his wife checks out of family life by sundown—leaving him to handle the kids, cleanup, and chaos alone every evening.

Now he’s wondering if he’s wrong for calling her out for being physically home but emotionally absent.

Read on for the story.

Wife goes to bed early

Wife gets up a 6am. I get up around 7am. She works 30 hrs a week, picks up daughter on the way home at 2pm. I work from home, 40hr week.

Son comes home early two times a week. I make lunch for him. Otherwise wife cooks dinner at 3pm. I stop working at around 4pm. We both do our share of things around the house. Additionally I take daughter to music lessons, ballet, cheerleading and horse riding (4x a week) after I finish work.

That’s not a problem. I feel I do more, she feels she does more.

Oh noy.

Problem is: wife goes to bed at 6pm. Every day, without exception. Saturdays and Sundays are often in bed. She’s on the phone watching movies.

I “do” the evenings, kids sleep at 9pm.  go to bed about 11pm. I clean up the house, dishes, be around the kids when they need something.

Because she makes dinner at 3pm, they’re usually hungry again. Then they need to go to bed. Often they want to connect with me. My day finishes late. They make noise, mum yells from her bed to be quiet and go to bed.

Sounds exhausting.

I am upset because she’s just not present. I feel like a single father in the evenings. And I believe the children need both parents present at night. Not supervising. Just present.

Maybe she can watch shows in the living room instead? The kids have space to play in their rooms, together, do homework or whatever and have parents that are close but not distant or suffocating. Maybe we can make dinner at 5pm or 6pm instead?

I’ve mentioned this many times that I feel alone in this. She thinks it’s because I’m hopeless and I want to be the kids’ “cool dad” and I am not structure.

No one is on the same page here.

I also feel alone at night and I need 15 mins of her time to connect and not co-parent as roommates. (All I am asking is just for her to veg on the couch. She doesn’t even need to touch me or talk to me).

She wasn’t like this while we were dating. It’s gotten so bad in the last few years and I’m losing my admiration and love.

AITAH? I told her everyone is catering around her stress. It’s not about doing more, it’s about being present more. She refuses to budge and tells me it’s because of my bad parenting style.

Reddit leaned toward NTA, saying his frustration is understandable and that early bedtime might signal burnout, depression, or avoidance rather than laziness.

This person is straight up appalled and thinks she needs help.

This person says this is not normal parenting on her part.

And this person urges him to push for open communication—or therapy—before resentment becomes permanent.

When your partner’s asleep before dinner’s digested, even a shared home can start to feel lonely.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.