Imagine marrying someone and knowing that your mother-in-law doesn’t like you. If you knew she was treating you badly, would you call her out on it, or would you hold your tongue?

In this story, one man is in this situation, and he got into an argument with his MIL. Now, he’s wondering if he was wrong to argue with her.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITA for arguing with my MIL because I feel she doesn’t treat me or my daughter very well?

My wife (f24) and I (m29) have been married for 2 years, we have a four year old daughter.

I met her family when she got pregnant, we weren’t officially together then, but we started dating when we found out that the baby was mine.

I understood her family’s concerns as it was a big shock for them that their daughter/ sister was pregnant and with no boyfriend (technically I met them before we agreed to be a couple).

I was patient with them and tried to show them that I was going to assume responsibility for the baby.

He’s on good terms now with most of his wife’s family.

After our baby was born and especially after we got married, her siblings and father warmed up to the idea of having me in the family.

However, her mother treats my daughter and me very badly.

I’ll give you some examples.

One example involves Christmas presents.

Her sister is married too, she also has children. MIL treats her husband like another son and their children are treated better than our daughter as well.

It’s not that she hates my daughter, but I can notice some small differences in the treatment.

Like Christmas gifts for example, my SIL’s kids get gifts that they actually like and they seem more expensive, Last Christmas my daughter got a ugly teddy bear that she hated, she hasn’t played with it since we left MIL’s house.

She claims that SIL’s kids live near and she can know what they like better since they visit often (that’s true, we live in another city), and that my financial situation is better so I can buy more stuff for my daughter.

He can just tell his MIL hates him.

Then it’s the way she treats me.

I don’t receive gifts from her, for example.

She is always looking annoyed when I’m around, sometimes she makes some off putting comments, but most times it’s just the way she treats me, you know? Like I can see that she treats me differently than the rest of the family.

She has even texted my wife more than once about how she can move back in if we ever get divorced which is weird.

His got into an argument with his MIL recently.

Anyway. Last weekend we traveled to wife’s city since it was her father’s birthday. We had a party and stayed over the weekend.

We went to visit MIL and she started again.

I was extra annoyed so I sarcastically asked her if she wanted me to wait in the car, which she replied “actually, yes”.

That started an argument, I wasn’t able to control myself and I told her that my daughter and I will just stop visiting if it’s such a burden for her, she started insulting me, I admit I insulted her back.

She claimed that I’m making up stuff to argue with her and distance her from the family.

His wife seems to be on his side.

We ended up leaving.

My wife is not angry, but she is disappointed.

Part of me thinks I did nothing wrong, I’m not going to lie. But another part thinks that I shouldn’t have argued with her, she’s my wife’s mother, I need to respect her. I knew I was annoyed and maybe I should’ve apologized and go back to our Airbnb

I’m asking for judgement over arguing with her, everything else is just context so please judge that event.

The MIL is the problem, but should he have tried better to control his emotions?

Let’s see what Reddit thinks.

He should talk to his wife.

He needs to realize his MIL will never change.

This person understands why his MIL doesn’t like him.

Here’s another vote for talking to his wife.

It’s horrible that she’s even treating her grandchildren differently!

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.