Co-parenting gets tricky when one parent believes in discipline and the other believes in endless understanding.

So, what would you do if your twelve-year-old son grabbed your shoulder aggressively in public, and when you called him out and expected your ex to back you up, he said you were being too harsh? Would you let it go until it happens again? Or would you stand firm on your proposed discipline?

In the following story, one mother finds herself in this scenario and gets no help from her ex. Here’s the full scoop.

AITA for calling my son out on his bad behaviour, messaging his dad about what happened, and expecting him to be on the same page about consequences for his actions?

I (F38) was out shopping with my 12-year-old son and his younger sister when he suddenly and quietly squeezed my shoulder hard and told me to hurry up so he could meet his friends.

It wasn’t playful. It was aggressive and controlling. This has never happened before, and it really shocked me.

I immediately told him that behaviour like that is completely unacceptable and that he will never do that to me or anyone else again. I stayed calm but firm.

She quickly realized that she and his father were not on the same page.

Afterward, I messaged his father (we’re separated but co-parents), expecting we’d agree that there should be a consequence.

Instead, he said things like: “He’s a child transitioning into a teen. He needs space and understanding.” “The last thing I’m going to do is get angry at him and tell him he’s wrong.” “Punishment or consequences will only push him away.” “Teach him to identify when he’s angry.”

I tried explaining that a consequence isn’t the same as punishment. A consequence is the logical result of his actions. I want our son to understand boundaries, accountability, and respect.

His father thinks any consequence is harmful and that we just need to “coach him through” and model emotional regulation.

No matter how she explained it, he couldn’t see her way of thinking.

This has become part of a larger pattern. Our son has also been calling his sister names like “loser” and “idiot” and has been in trouble at school for similar behaviour.

His father’s response was basically, “He’s stressed, maybe he should spend more time with me.”

I feel like this minimizes what happened. I’m trying to raise a boy who understands that physical aggression, even mild, is unacceptable and has real consequences.

His father thinks I’m too harsh and that consequences will “push him away.”

AITA?

Wow! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but the dad needs to take off his blinders.

Let’s check out how the fine folks over at Reddit think the parents should deal with such behavior.

This father didn’t tolerate that type of behavior.

For this reader, the son needs consequences.

These are good questions.

According to this comment, he cannot be allowed to get away with this.

She needs to stand firm. If her son sees that he can get away with this, who knows how far he’ll take it.

Thought that was satisfying? Check out what this employee did when their manager refused to pay for their time while they were traveling for business.