In many cases, the old cliche is true.

You don’t just marry your partner, you marry their family too.

For some people, this can be an excellent deal, gaining extra loving people around them and slipping seamlessly into the family unit.

For the woman in this story, though, marrying into her husband’s family means inheriting a huge burden.

And it’s a burden in the shape of a 24-year-old brother-in-law.

Read on to find out why his behavior is making her consider ending her marriage.

AITA if I leave my husband because of his brother?

I am a 31-year-old woman, and I have been with my husband Tim (30, male) for almost four years, and we’ve been married for almost two years.

We currently live in a rented home his parents used to live in, with his brother Max, who is 24.

His parents are now retired and live in another country, and Max stayed behind in the home.

When they left, my husband and I moved into the home they were renting – so now in the home it’s the three of us.

Let’s see how this living situation is panning out.

Max is has always been babied, and he is “blunt” (aka rude and uncaring of others).

He has no respect for anyone, not even his own parents. His parents and Tim did everything for him and he never really learned to do things on his own.

Now that his parents, left his mom sort of joked at one point that I would need to help.

Umm, no. I’m no one’s maid or mom, and he’s a grown man.

And Max’s behavior is really starting to get on her nerves.

At first there were things here and there that bugged me a bit, but I asked Tim to mention to his brother that chores would need to be a communal thing – at least for the shared spaces, i.e. the kitchen and bathroom.

I wasn’t asking much, just if the trash is full take it out, clean up after cooking for yourself, after the trash has been picked up bring in the bins, wash your own dishes, if there is a spill clean it, etc.

But nothing changed, he would leave the toilet seat up, there would be pee all over the floor around the toilet.

One time, I forgot to put a bag in the trash bin and he threw away his sardines in the new trash bin so it smelled bad.

But things just kept getting worse and worse.

He doesn’t bring in the bins or help clean the bathroom.

Sometimes I would find spilled coffee grounds or rice on the counter.

Once he got drunk in his room and threw up everywhere, then came out to the living room and went to sleep.

We found out the morning after that he’d tried to vacuum his vomit up with our brand new vacuum cleaner, it still gives off a nasty smell when you use it, and this happened almost a year ago.

And his odd behavior is starting to put them all at risk.

Now Max is refusing to close the door after coming home at night. We don’t live in a terrible area but it’s not nice either.

Our home has double doors, since I’ve moved in, I have been locking both doors. We all have keys, and the same key opens both doors.

Max works late, and sometimes he comes back at 2am/4am/7am. We don’t know his schedule, but these are the times he’ll come back.

We have a solid door inside and a grate door outside, he will lock the grate door but leaves the solid door open. I’ve let him know to close and lock the door when he gets in and Tim has also mentioned it to him.

But nothing seemed to make any difference to his choices.

He came home tonight and left the door open. Side note: we also want the door closed cuz our dog has sensitive hearing and will bark at anything, and with the solid door closed he doesn’t hear all the outside noises.

Anyways, I messaged him again that he needs to close and lock the door when returning. He replied back “Leave it unlocked for me and I will.”

At this point, since my husband hates confrontation, I know he isn’t going to do anything or say anything and I’m tired of feeling like I’m not safe in my own home and not feeling respected.

And anytime I try to talk to Tim about it he thinks I’m attacking him and his family. Or he’ll say “I can’t make him do anything.”

Things are getting so serious, that this woman is thinking of making a drastic change.

I’ve been thinking about leaving, but I don’t have a job or savings or a car. I got let go in July and have been looking for a new job, using my savings that I did have for bills.

So I feel so trapped, and I love my husband so much but I don’t feel valued or supported. I wouldn’t have anywhere to go but I’m not sure what to do at this point.

Tim also isn’t willing to kick his brother out or have us move due to the economy and our financial circumstances.

Am I in the wrong for wanting to leave? Am I asking for too much in order to have a safe and clean environment not only for me but my family (myself, my husband and our pets)?

AITA?

This isn’t just about the chores any more – this is about the safety and security of the family in the home.

It’s one thing being annoyed that the brother is being completely disrespectful towards the house and the people in it (which in itself is not acceptable at all).

But going to sleep at night, not knowing if you’re actually safe and secure in your own home? That’s a whole other kind of stress.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person thought that the real villain here was the husband, for not siding with his wife.

While others advised her to save up to help her exit easier.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged an ultimatum.

She’s been putting up with her brother-in-law’s horrible behavior for too long now.

And worse than that, she’s had little to no support from her husband, who has left her to suffer rather than challenging his brother.

He needs to do something immediately, or he’s going to lose his wife, all because he can’t stand up to his sibling.

Something has to change.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.