Imagine a relative’s child being really, really talented at a particular sport, but they’re going to have to quit the sport because the parents can’t afford it anymore. If you could afford to pay for the child to keep pursing that sport, would you? Or would you feel like it wouldn’t be fair to your other relatives if you hand picked only one to help?

The woman in this story is in this exact situation, and she’s not sure what to do. She wants to help her cousin’s son, but she doesn’t want to look like she’s playing favorites.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not paying for all my cousins’ childrens’ activities just because I’m paying for one?

Due to hard work but also a lot of luck, my husband and I are fairly well off, while many of my family members are struggling financially. They’re not going hungry, just having to cut corners.

I am an only child but have a VERY large extended family, and I grew up close to many of my cousins.

One cousin’s son has been swimming since he was 4 and swimming is basically his life. He is 15 and swims for his high school but has also been swimming with a club for many years.

His parents have scrimped to make this possible.

Any sport can be really expensive.

There is a lot of travel involved, and now apparently even his suits (technical suits, I think they’re called) are hundreds of dollars and he needs these for the championship meets.

Basically, it’s expensive and they can no longer afford it.

His coach is eager to waive the club fees to keep him in swim but he can’t cover all the related costs.

She wants to help, but it’s kind of complicated.

I’ve offered to pay for all of Deaton’s swim expenses.

He is GOOD, and he is dedicated. He practices around 16 hours a week, getting up at 5:00am many mornings.

He has an excellent chance of getting a scholarship to a D1 school; he is already getting attention from coaches.

The problem is, he has 3 siblings who also participate in acitivities and my cousin is stopping those due to financial concerns as well. And I have several other cousins with whom I’m even closer who are in similar postions.

Where does it end? She can’t help everyone.

Deaton’s parents have graciously accepted my offer, but my aunt said that if I’m going to pay for Deaton to keep his sport, I need to pay for his sisters to keep dance, cheerleading, and art as well.

Another cousin also says that I shouldn’t pay for one of my cousin’s child’s activities without paying for hers too.

I have about 30 first cousins! I can’t pay for everyone.

She’s not sure if she’s in the wrong or not.

I could possibly be the AH because I guess it isn’t fair, and I know these other children enjoy their sports/activities too, and it could look like favortitism.

But I think I’m probaby not the AH because so far the others aren’t anywhere near as talented or as serious about their extracurriclars as Deaton is and his will almost definitely land him a college scholarship.

AITA?

It’s too bad the parents can’t afford the kids’ activities. It sounds like she’s trying to help the one who has the most potential, so it is kind of favoritism. However, if he gets a college scholarship, it’s worth it.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

His talent makes a difference.

This would be a clever workaround.

She shouldn’t be expected to pay for everyone when there are other family members who could offer to do the same.

Here’s a suggestion of what to tell the aunt.

Helping someone who is talented isn’t the same as showing favoritism.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.