This woman and her husband juggle holidays between two families, something that already requires compromise and careful timing.

Years ago, her own family graciously gave up Christmas morning so her mother-in-law could have it instead. Now, without consulting anyone, the mother-in-law has decided to shift the start time later in the day.

What feels like a small change could throw the entire balance off. Read on for the story.

WIBTAH to tell MIL she can change plans but spend less time with us.

I (37f) am married to my husband (37m) and we have two young children.

Many years ago when my oldest was little (Maybe 2 yrs old, now 7 yrs old) my MIL wanted to change plans from us spending Xmas morning with my family to her.

My family graciously were willing to adjust the whole family’s plans to later afternoon (3:00PM) and early dinner and give up having the morning with us (which they loved).

Wow, that was nice.

My MIL the other day decided she’s going to change Christmas morning to start at 12:00 PM without involving us.

I asked my husband to ask her if she would be willing to continue with the original time between 9-10am so we get a good amount of time with both families.

She said she would think about it.

Well gee, don’t think too hard.

I am feeling frustrated and considering letting MIL know it’s her event and if she wants to change the time that’s fine, but then we might have less time with her.

I don’t want to ask my parents to change again since they already gave up something they really enjoyed for my MIL.

To me this feels like the consequence she is choosing.

WIBTAH?

This woman is asking Reddit whether setting that boundary would be unfair, or just the natural consequence of changing plans unilaterally. And guess what? They’re completely on her side.

This person has a suggestion.

This person agrees.

And this person says to leave the guilt behind.

Changing the schedule without asking doesn’t obligate everyone else to rearrange their holidays.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.