“Fair” doesn’t always mean “everyone gets the same”, however, this life lesson is lost on most kids.

How would you handle having to take care of a bunch of kids with very different needs? One woman recently sought advice on how to handle a very tricky instance of this on Reddit.

Here are the details.

AITA for catering to my niece’s need to have dino nuggets at every meal but not doing the same for my kids

My husband and I divorced 2 months ago.

I was a SAHM so my kids (4m, 6f, 8m) and I moved in with my sister and her kids (12f, 7f, 3m).

Her husband passed 2 years ago and she needed help managing the house and kids and I needed a cheap place to live.

Sounds chaotic, but also like a solid temporary move.

My sister is a doctor and works long hours, so most of the childcare and household care is on me.

I’m not working at the moment but I went back to school so I could get a job soon that will enable us to get our own place.

While she does make good money, having 4 extra people move into her house does mean expenses are higher than they used to be.

That’s an understandable new stressor.

In order to make up for that, she’s switched her youngest to half day preschool and is reducing her nanny’s hours.

The nanny is also working at a reduced rate because now she’s only responsible for my 12 year old niece.

My 12 year old niece has autism and ARFID (avoidant restrictive food intake disorder).

That’s a tough situation for caretakers who haven’t been trained on it.

She’s struggled with the change in routine (which is why she still has the nanny) and is expressing that through her food preferences.

For the past month and a half, the only way she’d be able to eat any meal at home with everyone is if there are dinosaur chicken nuggets on the plate.

She and her mom have breakfast together before everyone wakes up and her mom still packs her lunch on school days but for dinner or on weekends when we all eat together and I’m the one doing the cooking, she needs the chicken nuggets.

That likely doesn’t go over great with the kids.

She is slowly making improvements.

For the first few weeks they were the only thing she’d eat at home.

Now she’s willing to eat other previously safe foods if the nuggets are on the plate.

That is incredible progress.

My other niece and nephew and my kids have been asking for dino nuggets at every meal like their sister/cousin and I’ve been refusing because the rule is that they need to eat whatever is prepared for them.

My sister backs me up on this whenever she’s home but the kids are bringing it up to their grandparents (my and my sisters parents) and my ex and they both agree that the rule should be that everyone eats whatever I make or dino nuggets should be available to everyone.

Those people aren’t actively part of the household.

Now I’m wondering if I’m being too strict on the younger kids or if the rules should be the same for everyone.

Yikes. A tough situation for all involved. Let’s see how Redditors weighed in.

Most commenters were able to see both sides.

And suggested some sort of compromise.

Others pointed out potential risks involved.

A few offered reassurance.

One mother in a similar boat also chimed in.

She’s trying her best to serve up smiles.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.