Long engagements aren’t unusual, but it’s often mutual and based on difficult circumstances. This long engagement is a different story.

See why this woman has had enough.

AITA for breaking up and treating him like a stranger after he falsely promised marriage as a condition for living together?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We talked about marriage since year #2. We put all our cards on the table, including deal breakers and expectations.

Then we agreed to move in together on the condition of getting engaged.

He told me that he would propose before the end of the year and my family was dead set against it.

They said moving together without a ring on it was risky.

The plans went nowhere.

It’s been over 2 years. No engagement, plus there has been no proposal and there’s no ring.

In the meantime, I’ve kept my word to be there for him as a partner. He lost his job and I took on some extra work to cover all our bills. He found a new job and I coached him through problems with his new boss.

His family has a history of conflict and are constantly creating bad situations for themselves and I’ve done my best to help him solve their problems without being too judgemental because at the end of the day, it affects him.

I’ve asked him about our engagement so many times that I feel like I’m begging. I’ve also asked if he changed his mind. I need to know where I stand.

I don’t expect a flashy engagement ring.

What bothers me is that he was more open to it back when he felt vulnerable. I don’t want to be with a man who will only mention marriage out of survival, and I told him.

Then things looked fishy.

I asked him a few weeks ago because I can’t deal with monosyllables, changing the subject and the general limbo. He snapped at me and said that a relationship is much more than a wedding and that I’m pressuring him.

I swallowed my pride and reminded him that I loved him and that spending the rest of our lives together was all I wanted. He softened up and said to please understand that he loves me, but pressing the issue was hurting our relationship.

I found out that he won’t buy me a ring, but he put 1,500 USD towards his younger brother’s 30th birthday celebration, all while I’m covering a bit over 60% of our expenses.

I confronted him directly and he looked like he didn’t know what to say. I ended up crying because he’s changed so much that his efforts to help me celebrate my birthdays have been unenthusiastic.

He’s giving out money that he can’t afford to spend, but I had to buy my own Sara Lee cake while trying not to make him self conscious about spending.

So she cut him out.

I decided to move out after feeling crushed and being convinced that he lied to me. Our lease ends on May 30th and I told him that I’m leaving. He asked me many times if I’m 100% sure this is what I want, and I said I have no choice because he walked all over my dignity.

I’m sleeping on the sofa because seeing him hurts a lot. He has tried to talk, but I’m afraid this will turn into another 2 years of me pouring myself into his needs, and he will just keep stringing me along.

He asked if we could at least talk to the landlord and see if we could get a 3 month extension period, but I declined.

He freaked out because his joint custody agreement included that he needed a place of his own (because his ex hates his family and refused to allow their kids to spend extended periods with MIL).

I said I’m sorry, but he just needs to get moving and find his own solution.

I’m leaving on Monday so that I can stay with a friend. I don’t care if I still have to pay for my remaining portion of the rent. I don’t want to see him.

Then he started guilt tripping and gaslighting her.

He came to the living room because he wanted to talk and asked me if I would be comfortable moving on to someone else. I refused to answer and have been short with him because there’s no way that I can forgive him.

To be fair, he does look drenched and emotionally disturbed by my decision.

I’ve already blocked his entire family, and when he found out, I said I no longer have any obligation towards anyone on his side.

He asked to talk about our relationship, and I asked not to interact (because it makes me want to cry).

Last night, he went to sleep on the futon next to where I’m sleeping and said he just wants to stay close because he will be crushed once I’m gone. I asked him to please go to the bedroom or I’ll just be forced to stay in a hotel.

He says he understands my point of view but that I’m treating him like garbage.

AITA?

Here is what folks are saying.

It would have been good to move on earlier.

He’s SO manipulative.

Indeed. I feel sorry for his kid.

Definitely. Well put.

This bothers me, too.

I hope she finds a partner who loves and appreciates her.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.