Imagine marrying someone who has a child and you also have a child, but then you have a child together. If you got divorced, how would child custody work?

Would you share custody of all three children or just your child and the child you had together?

The woman in this story is contemplating this exact issue, and she’s not sure how to proceed, but she’d like to handle it out of court if possible.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for splitting up siblings in divorce

I 39 F and my soon to be ex-husband 40M (lets call him james) are about to start going through the divorce process.

For context we have lived in a home that he and his ex(Becca) purchased together, paid in cash up front, but all the money came from her dad passing away(inheritance).

Becca has had to live with her mom (she has a substance problem and no custody for about 3 years now).

There are children involved.

Both James and me had a young child when we came into the marriage only about a year apart.

My son, lets call him Ricky, was 1 year old and has never met his bio father and he is now 11.

His daughter who lets call her Susie, was back and forth between her bio mom and our house but she considers me mom.

Ricky has known that James was not his bio dad since he was old enough for the conversation. We then have one child together, Cindy F8.

She didn’t really like being a stay at home mom.

I was a stay at home mom for more than 7 years and I had no access to any checking account or cash. I had an account at the same bank and would have to ask if I needed to get anything and wait until James would transfer the money.

Sometimes he would send me to the store only to have me sitting there for 20 mins to purchase something cuz I had to wait on him to send the funds to my card.

Once all the kids were in school I decided to go back to school so that I could have a decent income and be able to do things I needed to.

He would not pay for anything extra and complained about costs so I thought he would like me contributing.

Turns out no.

Good for her!

I completed school and have been working from home since I started college.

I worked and went to school and have now finished school, paid off my school debt and had taken on half the household bills since I started working.

Since the house is paid off all we have is electric, gas bill, internet, food etc.

Getting divorced can be very expensive.

We have not been able to work through our problems and have decided to separate.

Well since his name and his ex girlfriends name is on the house I am trying to find a place I can afford.

He does make a little more than me 21$ hour plus commissions whereas I make 18$ hour.

I really would prefer that we try to agree on most things because having to go to court is expensive and can be really hard on the kids who are already going through enough.

She’s not sure what to do about child custody.

I can only afford a 2 bedroom and even that is cutting it close.

AITA if I only tale Ricky while Susie stays with him and we do 50/50 of Cindy together?

I also suggested weekend visitation for time that Ricky could visit him and/or Susie comes spend time with me.

I just want to be done with this and away from his control and his mental torment.

So would I be a jerk for splitting up the children?

He probably owes her child support, so with that, maybe she can afford to take care of all three kids part of the time. Although, Susie isn’t really her daughter, so she may not be involved in her life at all after the divorce, which is kind of sad for Susie.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

This person breaks down why this child custody arrangement makes sense.

She’s probably going be better off in the long run if she gets a lawyer.

I hope she can find a way to stay in her stepdaughter’s life too.

Divorce can be really hard on the kids.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.