Hosting a holiday for the first time can be stressful for more than one reason.

So, what would you do if you planned your first Christmas as a host, and then realized there wasn’t enough space for everyone to stay overnight? Would you give up your bedroom to accommodate someone? Or would you ask your parents to make other arrangements?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this situation, and her parents are not happy. Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for telling my parents they couldn’t sleep in my apartment on Christmas

I (f30) live with my partner (m30) in a 120 sqm apartment. We have a bedroom, a guest room with a large air mattress, and a sofa. This would have been the first time hosting Christmas at our place, and I was really excited. I even bought extra decorations to make it cozy.

The whole thing started because my MIL (f59) asked if we could celebrate at our place. She was left by her husband this year and didn’t want to spend Christmas alone. The plan was: MIL, SIL, possibly a cousin from my partner’s side, my parents, and my aunt.

His family lives 450 km away, mine only 50 km.

Her mother tried to turn it around.

When I told my parents (f63, m65), they immediately said, “Okay, we’ll reserve the couch then.” Basically, inviting themselves. At the time, I didn’t know how many people from my partner’s side would actually come, so I didn’t comment.

Now that Christmas is close and it’s clear that three people from his side need to stay over, I told my mom we only have the air mattress and sofa, and asked if they could either drive home at night (45 min) or stay in a nearby hotel. There are plenty of options in the city.

She didn’t take it well. She said we “promised from the start” they could stay. She also said a hotel isn’t possible because my dad “can’t walk that far” (news to me) and it “wouldn’t be a real Christmas” if they had to drive home and couldn’t drink wine.

Now, her mother has come up with her own “solution” to the problem.

I explained that the situation only became clear recently, and for a while, it wasn’t even clear if only my MIL would come. I also said I want to sleep in my own bed. I’ve spent the last ten years driving home late after Christmas with my parents just to be in my bed and with my cats.

What makes this harder: I’ve always struggled to say “no” to my parents or set boundaries. When we talked about this in person two days ago, my mom immediately started crying. It’s hard because I don’t want to seem selfish, but when I think about it later, my needs don’t feel unreasonable.

After some drama, my mom said her “solution” is that we celebrate at their house if they can’t sleep at ours. That feels more like avoiding the conflict than a solution. I’m sad because I was really looking forward to hosting our first Christmas.

AITA?

Eek! There’s no wonder this whole thing has her feeling stressed out.

Let’s check out how the readers over at Reddit feel about it all.

According to this comment, she’s in the wrong.

For this reader, more info would be nice.

As this reader explains, she should’ve been honest from the start.

She needs to rethink this whole thing and apologize to her parents. Stringing them along was rude.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.