Traveling requires careful planning and mutual agreements with friends.

This woman flew all the way to Japan to finally meet a friend she’d known for 25 years.

However, she found out that he had to make last-minute changes.

Now, she feels upset, blindsided, and uncomfortable with the entire trip.

Read the full story below for all the details.

AITA for being frustrated that my 25-year friend let his 3-week fling derail our long-planned trip?

I (37F) flew to Japan this week for a trip I’ve been planning forever.

A big part of it was finally meeting this friend (39M) I’ve known for 25 years.

We were close on and off, sometimes more-than-friends and sometimes just friendship.

We had never met in person until now.

This woman and her long-time friend agreed to spend her trip together.

We’d been talking for months about how excited we were to finally meet.

He agreed to go on a multi-day road trip with me.

He even renewed his international driver’s permit literally for this trip.

This was all set up way before I left.

Her friend suddenly told her that he has a girlfriend and the girlfriend wanted to join them.

Then, right after I walked through airport security at my departure airport, he casually called me.

He said, “By the way, I went on a date this week and now, she thinks she’s my girlfriend.”

It felt like… really? Now you bring that up?

Then, he tells me this woman he’s known for like three weeks wants to join us on the whole four-day road trip.

She told him she wasn’t comfortable with that arrangement.

He was kinda pushing the idea. He said she’d help translate, help drive, and handle logistics.

He even offered to pay her way.

I said I wasn’t comfortable with that.

I barely know him in person yet, let alone a random woman who suddenly thinks she’s his girlfriend.

I said it politely, and he dropped it.

He got super weird and was not too enthusiastic anymore.

But after that, he got super weird.

He became overly polite and conflict-avoidant.

He was vague about literally every plan except the one day I’m visiting his school.

He still helps me with directions, but he won’t actually answer if he wants to spend time together besides that.

It’s like he shut down emotionally.

His responses were always vague.

So, I just asked him straight:

“Do you actually want to hang out while I’m here, or should we just stick to Thursday?”

His response was vague again.

Honestly, it feels like he handed all his decision-making to this woman he’s known for three weeks.

He told me for months how excited he was to finally meet in person.

Now, she feels upset and blindsided.

If he had just said things changed, I would’ve respected that.

But instead, I’m stuck pretending everything is normal.

He is treating me like the optional extra on a trip I arranged and paid for after flying internationally.

So, AITA for being upset and feeling blindsided?

Let’s find out what others have to say about this.

This person shares a few suggestions.

Do your own thing, says this one.

Here’s an honest opinion from this user.

This one shares another valid point.

Finally, this one thinks she’s jealous.

International trips are fun… but having to share them with strangers may not be.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.