Some people are planners, and some people like to be spontaneous. Imagine being a spontaneous person but dating someone who was a planner and got really annoyed with spontaneity. It’s pretty easy to see how that could cause some conflicts.

In this story, the girlfriend prefers plans over spontaneity, but whether he likes it or not, the boyfriend’s work schedule is inconsistent and makes it impossible for him to make plans until the last minute. This caused a big fight that led to some new rules in their relationship.

Keep reading to see how the story plays out.

Girlfriend wants our dates to be appointment only

I’ve been dating this girl for some time now, and our time together on weekdays are rather spontaneous and casual.

After work, I’d call her to find out where she is and whether she had time for me, then I’d go to her to spend time fooling around at her rental apartment, go for dinner together, grocery shopping etc.

There were never any complaints about this from her, until one day when we got into an argument about an unrelated matter.

She apparently doesn’t like being spontaneous.

She accuses me of having no respect for her and her time, because i always “call her at the last minute, and expect her to make time for me”.

She declares that i’m causing her a lot of inconveniences because she can never make any plans on weekday evenings, since she doesn’t know if i have time for her on any given weekday. Going forward, she’s going to reject all plans that weren’t made at least 24hrs in advance. She’s a busy girl after all.

I was shocked.

This was never my intention.

He can’t give her 24 hours advance notice.

The nature of my work means that i have to do an unknown amount of overtime everyday.

What i’ve been doing, is to call her at 6pm when she gets off work, to give her an estimate of when i will finish, and when i can reach wherever she is. I can only get a reliable estimate at around 5pm, when my bosses leave for home.

What this means is that if i have to give her a 24hr headsup, i can never make any weekday commitments.

So i appeal to her, with the argument that she doesn’t have to keep her weekday evenings free for me. She can go ahead and make her own plans, and just turn me down if she already has something else scheduled.

She rejects that argument, because reasons.

She doesn’t know a lot of people.

Now, my girlfriend is a foreigner, in my country on a work visa. She has no family and few friends here. As a result, she gets lonely, and wants to spend as much time together as possible.

Under my previous method of meeting her spontaneously, i can be with her 4 weekdays every week on average. If i’m required to give her a 24hr advance notice, i can meet her NIL weekdays every week.

So that’s exactly what i did.

He complied and actually enjoyed his time apart.

The day after, i made no plans with her. I let her know when i’m off work, then told her i’m going home. I didn’t make plans with her for the next day either.

I can tell she’s mad because she’s giving very curt replies to my attempts at small talk, but i don’t care.

I went straight home, and gamed for the first time in 6 mths. It was glorious.

I used to be hardcore gamer, gaming at least 2hrs to 18hrs everyday, but had to give it up because she required a lot of attention.

The rule ended pretty quickly.

This went on for a few days, until Saturday finally arrives.

I paid for my act of defiance dearly that weekend, but she rescinded the stupid rule, and we were back to how we were before by the following week.

With his schedule, I can see how it would be hard to make plans ahead of time. It seems that she missed him enough to want to deal with his spontaneous schedule after all.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

They may be spending too much time together.

One person suggests a compromise.

Another person thinks they need to spend some time apart.

Scheduling time apart might help.

This relationship sounds a little smothering.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude customer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.